Confessions of a 25 Year Old Man

1. I have been in a ballet. I was very good.

2. When I was young, I told my best friend that I had cancer, and forgot to tell him I was kidding until he asked me how my follow-up appointment went. Sorry, Jeremy.

3. I played Santa Claus in a childhood play because I was the biggest kid.

4. I lost a spelling bee in the last round because when they asked me to spell wharf, I instantly thought of the character Worf, from Star Trek. I giggled a bit, and before I knew it, I had spelled his name. Fail.

5. In 8th grade, I thought my friend Kyle was a pot head so I told people that he was. When I found out that he wasn't a pot head, I didn't bother telling anyone at all. I just told my mom a couple of years ago that he is clean. We're 25 now.

6. When I worked at Wal-Mart, I often encouraged customers to shop elsewhere.

7. I often manipulate people because I can.

8. I don't expect to live past 30, but I still invest heavily in my retirement plan.

9. I bought my computer used, but I still paid more for it than anything else I own.

10. Several of my underpants have holes in them, and it doesn't bother me at all.

11. I have had a legitimate out of body experience.

12. I very seriously considered joining the military after 9/11. I'm glad I didn't.

13. I don't forgive or forget.

14. I declared in my high school Physics class that I would take a "shot in the mouth" for $1,000,000

15. I have volunteered to be repeatedly electrocuted.

16. I once punched myself in the face to prove a point. I knocked one of my teeth out. Point proven.

17. My identity cannot easily be confirmed by any agency or company for some reason.

18. I once went through airport security with my hands in the air, barefoot, wearing a tight shirt and shorts with no pockets, because I knew I was going to be "randomly selected." I was.

19. In high school, I won an eight foot tall inflatable Incredible Hulk. I often use him to decorate my homes.

20. Six months after arguing with a girl during Bible Study, I proposed to her.

21. I had a bamboo plant named Bernard, but he died. My new plant, Olivia, is thriving.

22. While studying for a college Microeconomics test, I realized that my supply of study time paled in comparison to the time demand required to get an A.

23. I was awarded the Outstanding Information Systems Major from my College in 2007 for high GPA, extra-curricular activities, and class participation. I wasn't even in the top quartile in GPA, I wasn't involved in any extra-curricular activities, and I only participated in class when I had to... or when it was funny.

24. I've met someone from Arkansas on almost every vacation where I wore my Razorback hat. Go Hogs!

25. I once off-handedly implied that I killed a man. At least one person believed for years that I had. I hesitated to correct him.

What do you have to confess?