Confessions of a 2nd Year Teacher

I feel like I've come a long way, my relationships with the kids are stronger than last year and with my material I actually know what I am doing now. Although in the first semester, I got to points as the co-called "apathetic teacher" where I spent more time begging and fussing that the kids should do what they were told and it was okay by me that if they didn't do what they were supposed to. If they didn't do what I asked, and failed - well it was their fault and that was that. I realized that totally defeats my purpose and I realized that I really needed to kick it into gear.

It wasn't until I attended a seminar on the Flight Success 4 you which was all about classroom management. I thought it was really inspirational and just enough to reinstall some enthusiasm in me. Luckily, right around that time I was ready to start up my second semester worth of students. I realized I had recently failed and was in despair but made a few connections with some of the kids. I knew that I needed to make them enthusiastic about the arts, but most importantly, it became my job to talk to the students as a teacher and not as a parent.

It was so easy for me to retort to students such common things that I heard when I grew up such as "the good suffer with the bad," and "life is not fair!" But this seminar that I attended they taught me that you need to really let the kids know that it is their choice for their behaviors and they get a consequence for it. Other notable notes and slogans I decided to type up, laminate and post all around my room so that if I got in a squabble with a kid, I could look up and see one of my slogans on the wall. But probably my favorite one was the slogan that I put on my podium so that I saw it every chance possible: "Remind yourself of why you do this."

So 2^nd semester kicked off, I can recall going through my rosters with my fiancée. I was specifically looking at my first block that had about eighteen students - a third of which were special ed or a behavioral issue in some shape or form. There were at least two boys on the list that gave me Hell last year and a third that was infamous amongst his eighth grade teachers as a disruptive thug (let us call him "Anarchy" for now for the safety of all of my kids). I can remember telling Alison, "My God, this first block class is so bad, it would be like if Batman had to teach all of his arch enemies."

Needless to say, my numbers were a lot better as far as class sizes went. All except for my second block which was full to the brim by the end of the year. I ended up losing a kid from the school, and then gaining about 2-3 more students that just "had to" come to art as their first class. But despite the enormous size of that class and my previous experience with the 7^th graders, they came out to be one of my favorite classes.

Okay, so back to the beginning of the year. I knew that I had to make peace with my former enemies, or Hell would break loose in my room as this same group of boys had wreaked havoc in another discovery class last semester. I told quite a few of my boys that "what happened last year happened last year. Let us start over with a fresh start," and they agreed and I soon utilized them with whatever I could in the room and I continuously showed them I cared about them. I could see and hear how these kids acted in my room compared to other teachers and I just thought, "Wow! I must be doing something right."

Unfortunately, being pretty good for me but being disruptive, disrespectful or being convicted of other behaviors caused a number of my students to get a lot of out of school suspensions, trips to the alternative school and expulsion. Of my original 18 kids in my first block three were sent to the alternative, a fourth was very close to being kicked out so mom just pulled him out and a fifth got ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags">OSS until the end of the year. Throughout the year, I got a few other kids put in there. "Braces" was a kid from last year that was rather disruptive because I feel he was dying for attention. He was a goofball and very entertaining - but there were times were he would cross the line. "Braces" ended up getting a good friend of his into the classroom, "Afro" and I thought the two of them were going to create a huge mess in my room. Instead they were both very comedic and worked really hard on all of their projects. I gave them each a farewell art book to continue their art education and I will miss them.

"Anarchy" continued to teeter on the fine line of being kicked out in school, especially one day when he punched some girl and got into a huge brawl. When you spoke of his name, "Anarchy's" was normally associated with being disruptive, disrespectful, acts idiotic at times amongst other things to other teachers. I saw some of these things as well but I think it was his struggle with comprehension of things that set him off. I even told him this on our last day together after he told me I was his coolest teacher this year - that I told him that I feel that when he has a hard time understanding something - he lashes out. He agreed and thanked me and I told him that he just needs to count to ten or know how to ask. I really hope he makes it to the graduation stage in high school - I just have a bad feeling that he is going to get frustrated with H.S. and drop out. But I guess all you can do is nurture and guide so far, and then you turn it over to them.

But going back to "Anarchy," what really hit close to home for me when I just didn't see this goofy disruptive kid was when I figured I could assign him as my main "art curator," a student responsible for hanging up art work. I was joking around with him as I handed him this heavy duty stapler and I said, "now make sure you don't accidentally staple your finger with this thing." And "Anarchy" took this VERY personal and got really upset and practically lashing out, "yeah that's all right! Cause I know that's what y'all you teachers think about me anyway!" I had to reassure him that I was only joking and for him to not take it so personally. But his words really had an impact on me and I knew that throughout the year what I had to do. My goal was to make "Anarchy" feel accepted and that I appreciated everything he did for me or created. I also made it a point to give "Anarchy" my student of the year award. I tried to make it really special for him and decided to give him this big speech and made sure he came up to the stage all by himself. Among my 200 kids this year, he could have been the most focused on his work while he got zoned into R-mode thinking. I shall also miss "Anarchy" and I really hope he continues on a path of success.

Also in my first block I was lucky enough to pull some strings and get some kids in there that were really good. "Red" was a girl that initially came up to me cause rumor had it she wasn't doing anything in her other discovery class. I had seen this girl in our school performances and knew she was very sweet and polite and she was one of the few kids that I actually basically urged to join my class. I saw instantly how talented she was and she was probably the most polite kid I knew. She was also known as the "Bizarro Red" to another one of my Yearbook girls who did the announcements together. Bizarro was one of my students from last year that was just SO awesome and such a great kid to have in any classroom. I can still recall that high pitched mouseyness in her voice (like when I had to call her up and let her know I had one final Yearbook available). Bizarro was a wonderful child and I can remember telling her mom if more students were like her - my job wouldn't be so hard. But anyways, back to regular "Red," - she also got a book at the end of the year and it was on her last day when she got her stuff when she told me she was really glad she took art. She had never taken it before and was now considering about taking more of it as she gets older. That made me feel really good that what I went through would inspire someone like that.

I also was able to get one of my Yearbook girls "Painty" to join my class. Painty was with me last year and she was an asset on pulling the Yearbook together this year. I couldn't thank her enough for all of her hard work, and there are some days I wish she wasn't so secluded and kept to herself because she was such a great kid. I gave her an art book as well at the end of the year and wrote in it again how much I thanked her for all of her hard work. I think of all my students she was the only one that I didn't get a clear cut goodbye from and I hope she continues that interesting characteristic of her and stays out of trouble. Kind of like her friend that did get in trouble the last week of school, "Sailor" that I was able to get a book to as well. She came by room after her final hearing and gave me a hug goodbye and a thank you for the book. I REALLY hope she stays out of trouble and doing what she can in the next school. She said she wanted to see some pics of my wedding so I'll have to get them to her in April.

I had other 8^th graders that I am really going to miss that just cracked me up all this year. One of them posted my movie on his Myspace page, another ran around the room making random noises as if he had turrets, another in their group had a funny way of saying "I HATE DAT!," another boy that would randomly come up to me and say Billy Squire or Ted Nugget, a girl who helped me become emo girl and made it clear to me that "she had to piss" on the last day lol. Another girl that was very loud and gave me the nickname of "Noses" and a group of jocks that loved to push it to the limit with me by being somewhat annoying and calling me "Hippie," or "Captain," and started a gag of "Your Mom" jokes that I was compelled to join into as well. I think I am going to miss a large quantity of my 8^th graders this year.

Last but not least, I just wanna talk a lil about those 7^th graders. I don't know how/why it worked but with a class of 30 plus kids they worked really hard for me and they were a blast to have. I thought it was going to get off to a rough start like it did first semester, but these kids were a little different. I think it all started when I singled out who I felt was their ring leader "Spike." "Spike" was in class and clearly made it known that he can't draw and he hated art. "Spike was the type of kid that would fight with you over the slightest of things and could manipulate a situation to his own benefit. "Spike" loved attention so I made sure I gave it to him when I could. One day the radio was on and it was playing Thriller, "Spike" made a comment about how I like Michael Jackson music - so I turned it on him and made sure that I knew that he knew he liked Michael Jackson A LOT. My imitation of Spike's exploits was loud enough that everyone stopped what they were doing and then huge laughter erupted. I was able to joke around with them but still get our work done. I'm still not sure how it worked, but the class was great.

Besides Spike in that class there was a loud little redneck girl, "Sowats" who really turned around for me - unfortunately she got kicked out of school for getting into too many fights and attitude at others. She was close friends with another girl who made a huge turnaround for me. Last year she used to run into my room and hide under desks like a little imp. This year I caught her doing and saying some rather inappropriate things that I had to make clear with her father and counselor. I made sure I gave the "Imp" & Spike my most improved awards for the huge turnaround in their behaviors and concentrating on their work. The Imp thanked me which I thought was a huge step for her and I noticed that she wrote on the see-through plastic part of my tissue box a little message saying that I was the coolest. It made me feel great knowing that we made such a huge turnaround together.

Finally amongst my 7^th graders I need to mention the Emo Squad. The Emo Squad primarily consists of some 7^th graders, but I like to think in a whole that Painty and a few other 8^th graders would be part of this as well. But they consistently informed me that "we're not Emo, we're ______" Whether they claim to be alternative, Scene or punk - I think they are a lively and entertaining bunch of Manga geeks that are all very artistic and creative. By getting to know them and their style, my goal was to imitate them on a day at school when a bunch of the guy teachers dressed up like women - I decided to go Emo. I remember going into Hot Topic that night before and asking the attendant, "Listen, I'm a teacher doing a fund raiser and I need to look like a 27 year old Emo girl." The attendant was really helpful, the kids got a big kick out of it, I got to bust out my Dr. Frank N. Furter fishnets and heels and in doing so I got a lot of cat calls and harassment from my female co-workers. "Ow look at 'dem legs!" Lol, good times. But I think my Emo Squard appreciated it most of all (while others criticized I looked like a prostitute and other girls were jealous that my skirt was short and were upset they couldn't wear skirts like that). Two of the Emo's every day towards the end of the year repeatedly told me "You're the Coolest Teacher Ever! You're the best art teacher ever! We'll miss you Mr. G! We love you Mr. G!" Sometimes it was almost a little embarrassing, sometimes they made you feel like a celebrity as you walked by their bus on the bus lot and they stuck their arms and heads out the window to scream at you - but for the most part, hearing that you are appreciated working a tough job for little pay is one of those few things that keeps pushing me along from one day to the next.

Finally, I'd like to wrap up this blog by trying to get some of these emotions off my chest. I guess each June for the next twenty plus years I am always gonna feel a little upset and depressed that some of these lives that you have touched and met may no longer be with you in the following months to come. It seems kind of funny or even ironic how some of us teachers wait from one weekend to the next, or one vacation to the next for some downtime. But when it is all said and done, I feel so silly being left with this emptiness but I guess it is just gonna have to be something to get used to. Like the birds leaving the nest for their first time, I hope all of mine will find success and safety with their next teachers and they have the best of luck and fortune.

I don't know if I will have as such luck with the next group of students, and it has been told to me that a teacher's third year is when it gets easier. It is when you know your material, what works and doesn't work with your kids and so on. I was also pleased to see that when we compared the students' pre-skills assessment to the same drawing they did about ninety days later - there was about 98 percent growth amongst all of my students. But I think the best piece of advice I took this year and the fact that I was dealt a first block class was "it is all about building those relationships." I feel that if more teachers took the time to build the relationships, all of our kids could be more successful. Unfortunately, many of us do not have the time due to class numbers, testing, documentation and dealing with all of the issues from everyone else. The family structure has changed since I was a boy, and some may even criticize this is the beginning of the deconstruction of the family household. Where the child raises themselves when they go home due to single parent homes trying to work 2-3 jobs to make the bills and the teacher picks up the parent tab wherever they left off. Which is why my job is stressful, but at the end of the day - I like to look back at the moments like these and say to myself, "Man, I made a difference in a young life today."