Confessions of a Lesbian Serial Dater: Reader Question

I received this e-mail from an avid "Confessions" reader a few days ago.

Dear Vixen:

About a year ago, I met this wonderful girl. At the time, she was dating someone, who I knew was bad for her. The relationship was extremely unhealthy, and I wasn't the only one who noticed it. Time and time again, I was the one she would run to-the one she would call and cry to when things weren't going well. In that time period, she broke up with this girl and got back together with her about six or seven times. Most of the time I was supportive of whatever decision she made, although sometimes I got extremely frustrated. At about the third or fourth break up, I changed my approach, and started giving her tough love. I told her that her decision making wasn't great, and if somebody made her feel like sh*t, then she needed to gravitate away from it. Well this time, it looks like she did.

As our friendship has become stronger and stronger, so have my feelings. But my feelings are no longer just plain and simple friendship. I've oftentimes wondered about kissing her or taking her out on a date. Some people have told me to "take chances" and "go for it," but I stay very cautious about it. I am afraid that if I approach her about taking her out on a date or something, that I could possible ruin this great friendship.

What do you think I should do?

Carrie, Boulder Springs Colorado

Dear Carrie:

I think we are told in life many times to "take chances" or "you'll never know unless you give it a try." But I tend to agree with you on your take on the situation. Sometimes it is necessary to let nature take its course-nature meaning love and relationships in this case. If you two have developed this really great friendship, where you can go to her for anything, and she feels comfortable telling you of her relationship ups and downs, that is a bond that is hard to break, and hard to find again. It sounds like you guys are best friends.

But there is nothing more that challenges the friendship bond more than the switch to a relationship. This is not an easy transition, and from what I have both experienced and seen, it could possible lead to the end of a great friendship. I think the question you have to ask yourself is this: Is your desire to be in an intimate relationship with your best friend more important than your friendship itself?