Confessions of a Nine Year Old

Even though we (my brother and I) found our Christmas present hiding place in the basement closet when we were younger, we still believed in Santa Claus. I was eight years old and my brother was five and I think we thought that the toys in the basement were just Mom and Dad's gifts to us. But, it was Santa that would be bringing the good stuff!

Our parents encouraged the jingle bell thoughts of Santa. We weren't stripped of that dream. They wanted us to believe in him. But, it was Kevin a freckled face, paperboy that would change my life forever.

Our neighborhood was just like any other place in the 1980's. Quiet, full of kids, and everybody knew everybody. Anyway, Kevin the neighborhood paperboy was a prankster at heart. He was always playing practical jokes on everyone in the neighborhood and always getting into some type of trouble.

We grew up in Buffalo, New York so the snow around Christmas time, as you can imagine was deep. We used to make angles and snowmen in the snow and decorate the street to look like a haven for kids. Kevin came around only to taunt us on this particular day. He was older than I was. I believe Kevin was twelve and I know I was nine.

Anyway, he blurted out... "You know there's no Santa Claus... don't you?" I looked at him and replied, "Yes, there is a Santa Claus!" Kevin started to laugh and repeatedly taunted me by saying, You believe in Santa Claus, You believe in Santa Claus,"

Kevin was a troublemaker and I remember feeling embarrassed as I ran into my house. My mother was shocked by the expression on my face. I had to confront her. Was she hiding something from me or was Kevin crazy. "Mom, Kevin says there is no Santa Claus," I cried. She (my Mom) as cool and calm as she was enlisted the help of my father and looked his way. Here it goes, truth time.

My father looked at both my brother and I and said... "Sorry kids, there is no Santa Claus. He's make-believe." Now how devastating was that! I cried the entire night.

I didn't blame my parents for lying about Santa Claus. I believe their intentions were good. I always blamed Kevin for unveiling my innocent eyes. Although, I'm sure didn't mean to devastate me, he just meant to be annoying. Nonetheless, I was nine years old when I stopped believing in Old Saint Nick.

When I became a parent it was clear to me. Let children dream. Make-believe in many ways is healthy. Encouraging creative thoughts is good. Know that there will come a time when you must say, what my Dad did to me. There is no Santa Claus, but hey it's the best thought that a kid can have.