Confessions of a Single Mom: I Try to Date Even Though My Son Has Autism

Sometimes I wonder if it's true. Is there really someone out there for everybody? Is there someone out there just for me, even though my son has autism? Dating can be hard for single mom's, it's even harder when you have several children, and harder yet, when one has a disability. My youngest son was diagnosed almost 4 years ago as being on the autism spectrum. I have had a few relationships since then, I've been out on dates, but I still have yet to find the right man who can accept my life situation.

I am a young woman, I am in decent shape, and people tell me that I am attractive all the time, I did not know it would be this hard. I thought that there would be more men out there accepting of my son's diagnosis. I do however have news for men, 1 in 166 children are being diagnosed with autism these days. Chances are at some point, you will go out on a date with someone just like me.

I always tell a prospective date about my son upfront, and I have yet to find someone who still didn't want to go out knowing the facts. The problem with that is, how do you explain a disorder so complex that researchers can't even figure it out, let alone someone who knows nothing about it? I try to say "my son can't have a conversation with you", "he can't tell you his name", "sometimes he has meltdowns", " he only eats a few different foods", "he will most likely never live independently", etc., etc. I'm getting so tired of explaining, hoping and waiting.

My son is one of the most affectionate children you will ever meet. He has a pure heart and really loves life. He hugs and kisses on everybody he knows and I am lucky that he can tell me that he loves me every night. I suppose that is why my heart aches at times. I long for a special someone who is strong enough to be there for me and for him.

I have tried to build up walls now. I do not ever want to fall for someone, only to find out that the "can't deal" with my son. I still take my son everywhere you take a normal child and I'll be honest, sometimes it does not go well at all! Maybe we can't always go out and do the things that other families do, but at least we try.

I have had some people say to me, " he's hard to for you to deal with sometimes, how do you expect someone else to deal with it?" To some extent I see this point, but other times I wonder how people in this world can be so selfish. My son did not ask to be this way, and you never know, we may be two of the most amazing people you'll ever meet. In this world of fast food, cell phones and the Internet, we want what is convenient, and my life is not convenient, but for the most part, we are happy.

I have heard about Jenny McCarthy's recent article in People magazine explaining her experiences raising a son with autism. I have heard that she expressed that she was worried about introducing her son to Jim Carey. In the end, Carey turned out to be extremely supportive and one of her son's biggest allies. I hold her story in my heart, in hopes that someday I will find my Jim Carey.