Confessions from the Sober Me

Several months ago I wrote about my resolution to win my struggle with alcohol (Confessions of a "Functioning Alcoholic"). I wrote the piece while intoxicated, but I did stick to my resolution. I drank my last alcoholic beverage in the early morning hours of January 1, 2007. I went to bed that night a drunk, but woke up the next morning determined to try my hand at sobriety.

After my article was published here on Associated Content, I received many words of encouragement from my fellow content producers. I knew I had now made a resolution that I had to keep. I felt like I had signed a contract with the rest of society, and I had to remain true to my words.

Life without alcohol was difficult at first. Every night I craved the buzz. I searched online support forums to read of others struggles and successes. Every night I felt awkward going to bed sober, but I knew that each day I remained sober, I was one step closer to the person I wanted to be.

Every night was easier than the one before. Every month the grip that alcohol had over me became weakened. There were and are times that are more difficult. The first sober party and the first sober camping trips were tough, but they also became easier with time.

Because I was a functioning alcoholic, rather than a slopping drunk, friends and family members did not really understand my choice to completely quit drinking. Several friends told me that it was okay if I drank once in awhile, just not everyday. What they did not realize is I had tried that route several times. It did not work for me. Drinking once in awhile quickly turned to weekly and then daily each time that I tried. I now knew that complete sobriety was the only solution for me.

Being the sober one in the group can stink at times. I often feel a bit out of place and of course the temptation is greater when surrounded by those drinking. However, it is nice to never worry about having a sober driver, since I can now act as the designated driver at all times.

I often have dreams that I give in to temptation. I wake up so disappointed in myself, until I realize it is just a dream. I then get up and start yet another day as the new, sober me.

Giving up the addiction to alcohol was similar to quitting smoking for me. The first days were the hardest, but once the physical addiction was over, the mental addiction was not too hard to conquer. The longer I go without both, the more I wonder why I ever used either. Also, I can smell the scent of a cigarette or the stench of alcohol a mile away, and both now make me want to vomit.

I am now nearly eight months into sobriety, hopefully it will last the rest of my life.