Confident Body Language for the Women of Today

Increasingly more women are taking leading roles within the workplace but unfortunately many competent women are not being recognised because of their weak body language. Our body language says so much..

Confidence involves your attitude, your expressions, your demeanour, your body language, and your voice. If you're not a very confident person inside, you can at least learn how to pretend. Here are a few ways to display a confident air:

Relax your body, making sure that your shoulders are not brought forward but that you are not bolt upright. Lean a little, but don't slouch. Don't tense any part of your body, or hold any object too tightly. Keep reminding yourself to relax your posture. Leaning forward slightly can show that you're interested in what the person is saying, while leaning back a little can show that you are relaxed.

Pay attention to what your hands are doing. Make sure you don't use them in a nervous way by touching your face, tapping on your leg, fiddling with a button. Leave them loose until you're ready to use them. Let them move a bit when you're talking, making casual gestures, but not too much or too fast.

Don't act defensive, like crossing your arms or legs, guarding your chest or your abdomen, or lowering yourself into a cowering position. Make a conscious effort to keep your posture open and welcoming. When you walk, let your arms swing by your sides a little.

Use your head - a raised head shows security and confidence, and nodding occasionally when someone is speaking shows that you're listening. Don't hang your head like you're ashamed of yourself.

Maintain good eye contact, but don't stare. Meeting a person's gaze, while still remembering to blink, will show that you're not insecure or uncomfortable. When speaking to more than one person, make sure you look around at each person occasionally.

Smile when appropriate. Laugh moderately at people's jokes, smile when you greet someone or say goodbye, and keep your expression positive. But don't keep grinning like a maniac all the time, and don't laugh too much at your own jokes.

Slow down the way you speak, the way you move, the way you look around, etc. Pretend you have all the time in the world and you're feeling relaxed. You will seem calm and confident, and will make people feel the same way.

Mirror the other person, occasionally copying their own body language. If they learn forward, you lean forward. If they smile, you smile. Casually acting like the person you're talking to makes them subconsciously comfortable with you. But don't do it in a way that would make them notice you're copying them.

Don't speak in a monotone, and don't speak too quietly. Make sure your voice changes in pitch and volume in the appropriate places, and that you don't "um" and "uh" too often. If you don't speak too fast and don't try to say too much all at once, you will have more time to think about what you're going to say next.

A firm handshake, a loud voice, a big smile, and natural facial expressions of emotions can all help you to appear secure and confident in social situations. Act like you belong there. Show people that you're friendly and interested in what they have to say. Ask them about themselves and pay attention to the answers. Make a mental note of their name and use it when you can - this is a very positive social skill. Don't talk too much about yourself; by focusing the attention on the person you're talking to, the person will feel that you are sharing a good conversation (people love to talk about themselves). Don't ask questions that are too personal, and keep it relevant - don't go off topic randomly. If you have something interesting to say about yourself in comparison to the person's answer, do so without interrupting or acting like you weren't listening to their part.

When giving a presentation or speaking to a group, the most important thing is to speak loudly and clearly. Your voice must sound like it is familiar with the information it is giving. Speak at a relaxed pace, but not in slow-motion. Take a pause now and then to allow your listeners to think for a moment. Make positive eye contact with each person in the room, without putting anyone on the spot or making anyone uncomfortable. Keep your head up and your back straight, as this will not only make you appear more confident but will improve the volume and tone of your voice. Do not keep your arms rigid or crossed, but allow them some freedom to gesture at appropriate points. If your face is relaxed your natural expressions will compliment what you are saying, and the message will be more easily understood. A tasteful joke thrown in often helps win the crowd.

If you can learn to emit confidence and have a friendly and relaxed countenance, you will find it much easier to succeed in both social situations and in your career. Keep trying, keep practising, keep reading this article if you need to, use a mirror to help you see what people see of you. In time you will definitely benefit from acquiring a confident exterior.

A woman with strong body language sits straight, listens attentively to previous speakers, places feet comfortably on the floor or crossed, surveys the audience to spot potential problems with line of sight or hearing, looks relaxed, smiles as is appropriate and appears to be enjoying herself.