Conflict in the Workplace: 5 Ways to Deal with Conflict & Confrontations

Dealing with people means that there will be some kind of misunderstanding or conflict at some time. You have to know what to do in those moments. Here are 5 things you must do to keep your cool while dealing with conflict...

1. Wait until you're calm. If something was said to you or about you, wait until you're calm to deal with it. Never confront anyone while you're still steaming. This is what causes arguments to blow up and take the wrong turn. Take a minute or two to breathe, and then approach the person about the issue at hand. You'll be much more civil while you're calm than you would be while you're angry.

2. Ask questions first. Even if you know that the person has done something wrong, don't approach them saying, "Why did you tell Brenda that I stole her idea for the project?" Or "I know you're going around lying on me, and you owe me an apology!" When you approach them this way, you are making blank accusations, and people take offense to that. Just pull them aside and say, "Can I ask you something? Did you say anything to Brenda about me recently?" Even if the person is guilty, they will still respect you for approaching them with civility instead of attacking them.

3. Watch your tone. People would believe your tone quicker than they would believe your words. No one likes to be yelled at. You must speak to them in a calm, yet assertive tone. Raising your voice can make you seem angry or intimidating, and talking way too quietly can make you seem as if you're intimidated.

4. Speak for yourself only. Some people like to drag others into their conflicts with others. For example, they would say , "Melissa told me that you said I stole something from the lounge." Or "Everyone thinks that you're the one that did it." Don't say that someone else told you something, or "everyone" thinks that someone did something. When you throw others into it, you are simply trying to back the person in a corner. You're trying to make them feel like everyone is against them. If you have an issue with someone, you have to speak for yourself only. Don't throw anyone else under the bus.

5. Explain your intentions. Make sure they know the purpose of you confronting them. You are in a professional arena, so you don't want people to view you as immature or as a hothead. Simply say, "I hope you understand that I'm not attacking you. I'm just asking about this because I don't want anything out there that's going to ruin my reputation." When you take this approach, they will see that you are not just out to cause a stir-you actually have legitimate concerns-and they will respect that.