Confronting Your Partner About Lying

Relationships are known for being problematic at times. However, when your partner lies to you, it makes the situation even worse. Before deciding to confront your significant other about lying there are a few things that you should consider. Lying is never acceptable but not all lies are created equal.

Many of us are quick to assume that if our boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse is lying that they are cheating but this isn't always the case. People may lie for many reasons. Typically, lies concerning employment, money, or their past has nothing to do with their commitment to you but their own insecurities.

For example, someone with a jaded past may not want you to know because they may feel that you will not see them the same way anymore. A fresh start for them may mean leaving the past behind, entirely. Starting over is not easy and you may not be to that point in the relationship where they feel comfortable confiding such personal information.

The same can be said of the partner that lies about money. Could it be that maybe they are trying to impress you? Often our own self image is distorted, we think that someone will not love and appreciate us for who we are. By exaggerating the amount of money they earn, these individuals believe that it makes them more attractive or desirable. However, I would beware if your partner is lying about where money is being spent.

When the other person in the relationship lies to you about money spent, it may signal some very important issues. It could be that they are cheating but there may be bigger issues at hand. Your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend may have addictive behaviors such as gambling, drug and/or alcohol abuse, or have a multitude of things that they are hiding from you. Sometimes, the other persons financial situation may be dire, they lie to save face. If you are married or living together this is cause to really be concerned.

If your partner consistently tells lies, it may be time to sit down and have a talk with them. This is one of the more complicated talks that you will have. Ultimately, you should try to confront them in a gentle way that will let them know that you are aware of the lies and still enable them to maintain some dignity. Sometimes, all it may take is a simple conversation to get to the root of the issue. If your partner still denies any wrong doing, there may not be much that you can do. It is then up to you whether or not this is something that will be tolerated.

Ultimately, lying destroys trust. It can be the most damaging thing one can do in a relationship. Remember to treat your partner with the same respect that you would like to be treated with. Be honest with them and expect the same in return.