Conjurer - Movie Review

Conjurer is about how history returns to haunt even the unsuspecting. Conjurer reaches for brilliance occasionally but shallow acting, appalling writing and cataclysmal camera work doom Conjurer to a gruesome death. I'm going to do my best to stay awake while I write this review for you but I even as I type these words I'm dozz...

Shawn Burnett (Andrew Bowen) and his wife Helen (Maxine Bahns) move to the country after a miscarriage devastates Helen. There is an empty cabin in the back yard when they move in which is the subject of local legend. Shawn begins obsessing over the cabin, the witch-lady who used to live there and the potential danger to him and his wife. Shawn and Hele........ Sorry, I feel asleep just then.

Conjurer is like watching a farmer roll his cart to market through frozen molasses up a hill, and when he arrives, everyone has gone home. Horror or thriller movies can be slow moving, until the pay off in the end, which makes the entire movie worth the audience's patience and attention. Conjurer requires an all volunteer audience because there ain't no one getting' paid. *Yawn* The story ends at pretty much the same place it began, whattheheckland. The characters don't develop, the ending is unclear, and there is only enough plot for fifteen minutes.

The characters, especially Helen and her brother Frank Higgins (John Schneider) are confusing and loathsome. We watch as ......... Damn, it isn't any easier to stay awake when writing about Conjurer than it was to watch it. Helen swung from bitchy to attentive. Frank swung from generous to greedy. Both characters seem unable to clearly define themselves.

Andrew Bowen is convincing as a loving husband who believes wild stories. I often found myself not sleepy when he was in scene. He pulls Shawn off adequately enough that if the script were better, he might be able to compensate for the egregious attempts at acting by other actors in the movie.

Whenever Maxine Bahns came on screen, the teeth in my mouth that had dental work began to throb. She couldn't portray loving, sad, upset, scary, or shot convincingly. If I had to judge strictly on her portrayal of Helen in Conjurer, I am not convinced she could emote sincerely if someone was ripping the legs of her kitten.

Ken Blakely, the cinematographer has a fantastic understanding of light and framing, so when the camera is not moving, Conjurer is beautiful. There are lovely visuals where light gives a strong presence of mood. Sadly, when Blakey moves the camera he downright tries too hard. I can tell he is trying to figure out the best angle to convey mood but the only thing I felt was nausea.

The one part of the whole movie I was in love with was the when Shawn decides to take the status of the crow into his own hands. By the time he does, the entire audience had been having the same feeling for about an hour.

Any audience member who dares to watch Conjurer should be wary their heart will stop pumping because it fell asleep. I'm going to take a nap now; talking about Conjurer has made me sleepy.