Connecting with Your Teenage Daughter

We all know the stereotypical teenage girl, you may even think you have one. Rude, disrespectful, moody and willful, but I bet if you take a closer look at your teen daughter you will see a totally different person. Currently I am raising tree teenage daughters, and while they do occasionally exhibit the stereotypical teen behavior, there is defiantly more beneath the facade.
The first step to connecting with your teenage daughter is to remember what it was like for you at her age. Yes, the times have changed, but teen issues remain the same. The need to express individuality, wanting to become a separate entity from your parents, The rebellion is the same from generation to generation just wrapped up in different topics. Its a rite of passage into adulthood. Always try to remember your feelings as a teenager, whether you are mom or dad. This will help you connect and find common ground with your teenage daughter.
Your teenager has known you her entire life, so don't change who you are now to try to bond with them. Be yourself, that's who they want you to be and they will know if you are faking it. It is your teen who is doing the changing and they need you to be the person they know and trust. You won't impress them by trying to act cool, chances are you will just embarrass them.
Your teenage daughter is still learning valuable lessons such as respect. Respect is a two way street. If you want your teenager to respect you, your judgment and rules, you must show them the same respect. By respecting them enough to value their thoughts and choices you are also teaching them self confidence. You are confident enough in your parenting skills to trust their judgment, they will know that you trust them and become confident making choices for themselves.
The third "do" in connecting with your teenage daughter is to find things you have in common. Your tastes don't have to be exactly the same, but the enjoyment of common interests will help you and your teen connect. My two oldest daughters and I have several things in common. We all love music, reading, laying around watching movies and we even like a lot of the same t.v shows. Now my youngest daughter is a total daddy's girl, but we still find ways to connect even though we have a lot less in common. Sometimes finding things in common means a bit of compromising. My youngest daughter likes sports, but the only sport I enjoy is softball, but hey that's one thing we can do together. Your common interests may not be obvious but if you look hard enough you'll find it.
When you are a parent it is sometimes hard to also be a friend, but there will be times when you need to play both roles. Being a friend doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want. Being a friend is listening without judging or giving advice unless asked. Being a friend means being available. In this particular area my husband is wonderful. He really has no clue how to relate to our two oldest daughters, but he tries and is always available to them, whether they need help with homework, are having a problem with a friend or need him to pick up a box of tampons, he is there when they need him.
Letting them be themselves is probably the most important step in bonding with your teenage daughter, even if it is difficult. If you treat your children like stereotypical teenage girls you most likely will not have the relationship you really want to have with them. See your teen for who she is and I bet you'll be impressed and have a great relationship with her.