Conquered by a Kitten!

Up until recently, you couldn't have paid me to keep a cat in the house. So darned independent. Eats and sleeps and that's it. They only want to play when they decide it's playtime. They break stuff. Nope, for me it was dogs all the way, baby. Dogs are pretty much perennially happy. You can wrestle with them, run on the beach with them. I swear there are times when I've talked with my dog and it knew exactly what I was saying. But cats? Come on. A cat could care less what your problems are. And it sure won't go for a walk with you.

So what the heck am I doing with a kitten sitting on my shoulder while I'm typing this article?

Go figure. The other day, my daughter came home from school, holding a little matted ball of fur in her hands that was about the most pitiful excuse for a kitten I've ever seen in my life. "It was abandoned," explained my daughter. "And it needs a home." I'm not sure what was worse: the sad Bambi eyes of my daughter or the sad, confused Bambi eyes of this kitten. Which -- by the way -- I wasn't entirely convinced really was a kitten because it looked more like a cross between a rat and squirrel with a face that reminded me of Groucho Marx on a bad hair day. My reply -- in my best un-sympathetic Clint Eastwood voice: "...Clean it up...dry it off...and let's take it to the vet before it infests the house with whatever it is that it's contaminated with...." I don't know if Clint Eastwood ever had to deal with a kitten before, but darn it -- I'm thinking mowing down a bunch of crackheads in Hell's Kitchen with a .347 Magnum has got to be easier than this.

I refused to be compromised by a kitten. Not me. Not the great hunter. Not the bread winner. Not the man of the house. A kitten can not fetch the newspaper. It won't shake your hand. It won't catch a Frisbee in mid-air. So what happened when my daughter handed me this tiny feline and I held it in the cup of my hand? I pretty much crumbled right then and there. Powerless to fight back against this helpless ball-of-yarn wanna-be.

Some tough guy I turned out to be.

Oddly enough -- the very things that a few years ago may have turned me off against cats are the same things that I find myself enjoying now: the minute I placed Fur-Ball in its kitty litter, it was like it was genetically tuned in to what it had to do. It knew that was the place to go poop. Don't ask me how. My dog has to be taken for twice-daily walks and even then there's no guarantee that it won 't spray a little tinkle on a potted plant. This little slice of hair-pie goes instinctively to its little box and darn it if it doesn't just about wipe its butt when it's done. In fact all this kitten seems to do is eat, play with string and sleep. According to kittens-lair.net a kitten needs at least 2 hours of holdy-touchy-feely bonding every day with its human counterpart in order to integrate with its owner. In fact, the younger the kitten the more it should be kept close by. So between me during the day, my wife during the afternoon and my daughter during the evening-- 'ol Fur-Ball is about as spoiled as spoiled can be. Some other things I'm enjoying: not getting up early in the morning to take the cat for a walk (refer back to the previous paragraph). This kitten picked up the habit of sitting on my shoulder while I type which I think is pretty cool.

My dog is not liking this one bit, let me tell you. But I have to admit -- I'm kind of digging my new found feline friend. I've also learned a few things and maybe if you plan on getting a kitten in the foreseeable future there are a few items of importance: according to www.kitten-rescue.com a kitten needs warmth, warmth from you and especially warmth when it sleeps. This can come in the form of stuffed animal, a small blanket, anything that will keep its body temperature up. Felinexpress.com has a great article on "kitten-proofing your home" and you can read it by clicking here.

Our kitten is too young -- I think -- to understand that a dog is not exactly the perfect playmate. But on the other hand, my dog is not too sure what to make out of this newest addition to the family. Between the two of them, there is a basic tolerance, but you can probably imagine that the kitten is a heck of a lot more curious. I'd venture to say that we're all learning about each other -- especially me -- because I never thought I'd become a cat lover.

Just goes to show you even an old dog like me can learn new tricks.