Conservation Poem: "Ode to Toilet Paper" For Sheryl Crow
Oh square of paper, perforated,
so soft in nether regions.
Once you were made and word got out ,
your fans we count in legions.
But Crow has vowed that we should shun,
and turn our back on you.
One piece she says is all we need,
I cannot face this messy deed,
without your rolls and gentle touch,
the china throne would be too much.
So I remain your loyal fan,
and sneak some extra pieces.
so soft in nether regions.
Once you were made and word got out ,
your fans we count in legions.
But Crow has vowed that we should shun,
and turn our back on you.
One piece she says is all we need,
I cannot face this messy deed,
without your rolls and gentle touch,
the china throne would be too much.
So I remain your loyal fan,
and sneak some extra pieces.
The Associated Content article that inspired this.
Published by Laurie Meekis
I am very pleased to have earned the top 1,000 content producers badge three years in a row on Associated Content. Many of my articles and writings here are available for reprint. For those and other writin... View profile
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15 Comments
Post a CommentLol, you've made my day!
Hilarious! I love it.
Ha! Power to the toilet paper.
Excellent. Guess we could all go back to the good ole days and use pages from the Sears & Roebucks catalogs or perhaps leaves from trees?
Good job! this is a commodity we don't appreciate enough :)
haha! great little article...made me laugh...
Cute, I am with you. Can't go with out my 2ply. This old butt needs comfort.
2 ply of course Eric...lol
picturing myself with bongo drums and a beret...too funny Paul
I dig it man. All you need are some bongo drums and a blacklight. And a stage, I guess. Thanks for the comment on my article, and hell yeah- GO BLUE