Considerations When Choosing a Therapist

Mental illness is a sobering fact of life for many Americans. Depression, anxiety, and other mental illness can be crippling, obviously emotionally, but also physically. Mental illness can be exhausting, can cause undesired changes in appetite, and can lower immune system response. Having suffered from mental illness for most of my life, I have experienced all these debilitating effects and more.

Medication is obviously an important component of treating mental illness, and finding a knowledgeable and reputable psychiatrist is very important. However, medication alone can only help so much. A good therapist can be a crucial element in improvement of psychiatric conditions.

Yet for those who are suffering, there is very little information available on how to choose a competent therapist. Obvious considerations include locale, insurance coverage, and hours, but how can you know if your therapist is appropriate for you and your condition? In my twenty plus years in therapy, I have come to realize there are some important factors in determining whether the therapist you are working with is going to be helpful. Here are five of the most important:

5) Societal/Cultural Understanding. If you are from a conservative Arab family, it is not going to be easy for a progressive-thinking, secular, Caucasian to fully comprehend the dynamics of your life. I am not criticizing those who think differently than others. I am only pointing out that therapy goes easier with somebody who has personal, first-hand knowledge with the challenges specific to individual societies and cultures.

4) Lecturing or Overly Talkative Therapists. The suggestions and information imparted by your therapist can valuable to you and help you understand your condition and deal appropriately with it. Unfortunately, though, there are therapists out there who enjoy hearing themselves talk and like to tell you how they think you ought to behave. This is an ineffective means of therapy for most, as your behavior and how it needs to be changed should be a collaborative effort between you and your therapist, not a rigid edict handed down from a pushy therapist.

3) Unprofessional Behavior. Sadly, there are those out there who engage in lazy practices like frequently canceling appointments or fielding numerous phone calls during your therapy sessions. These practices send a message that you, as the sufferer, are not really all that important. You would not accept this sort of behavior from your child's school teacher, and you should not accept it from your therapist.

2) Silence. Nothing signals that you're with the wrong therapist like a lot of silence during your sessions. Whether it is some unspoken but deep reluctance to trust who you're talking with or simply a therapist that is unsure of what to ask you about next, silence is a red flag indicating that it's time to look for somebody else.

1) Lack of Progress. This is a touchy issue, as any reputable therapist will tell you that you must be motivated and work hard for your own recovery. While that is definitely true, lack of progress or worsening of your condition is a signal that something is not right. Consider carefully what might be factoring into a lack of progress in your therapy. Has your situation worsened? Have you suffered more trauma? Are you having trouble with your medications? If you answered positively to any of these questions, you may want to give your therapist some more time. If you answered no, perhaps it is time to consider whether the therapy that is supposed to be helping you, is effective.

To those choosing a therapist, I wish you all the best, and I can tell you that better times are possible with the appropriate medication and a knowledgeable, caring therapist.