Considering Domestic Adoption

Today, I am so blessed to have my two beautiful children. My son Isaac is 2 years old, and my daughter Selah is 8 months old. I am so proud of them and couldn't imagine not having them as my children. However, my husband and I could not have had them on our own. Our family was helped to grow through domestic adoption.

My husband and I had always thought about adoption as something we might consider some time in the future. We had decided to first have a child or two the "old fashioned way," and then think about adoption later. Howvever, we were hit with a harsh reality after losing a baby boy that was born too early, and then later losing a little girl that was stillborn. Both losses were devastating, leaving us with broken hearts and empty arms. We knew more than ever that we desperately wanted to be parents, but we couldn't face another heart breaking loss. So, we turned to domestic adoption.

What is domestic adoption?
The two main types of adoption are domestic and international. Domestic adoption takes place within the United States, but can be from one state to another, or within the same state. In an international adoption, your child may come from China, Guatemala, Russia, Korea or any country other than the United States. An international adoption will likely involve travel to a foreign country.

Is adoption right for you?
Before even considering adoption, my husband and I had to feel at peace about moving on. We never wanted to feel like we were "replacing" the babies that we lost, because they will always hold a special place in our hearts. We just wanted to extend our love to more children that we could actually hold in our arms, and raise into wonderful people.

Maybe you already have biological children, and would like to expand your family by adopting a child in need. Or maybe you have struggled with infertility, and you are trying to decide between pursuing adoption and pursuing an IVF treatment.

It is important to think about your reasons that you want to be parents. We had to consider this as well. How important was it to us to have biological children, that might look like us and inherit some of our personality traits? For some families, biological children are very important, and looking into adoption is probably not right for them.

Another issue that must be considered is finances. A domestic adoption can cost anywhere from $10,000 - $30,000, or even more. The cost depends on the agency fees, attorney and legal fees, and travel fees. Is your family able to cover these costs, or obtain a loan to cover adoption expenses?

Open vs. Closed Adoption
Not too long ago, a lot of adoptions were completely closed, meaning the birthparents had no idea who the adoptive parents were, and the child may or may not have been told about the adoption at all. The birth parents might have wondered through the years where their long lost baby was. Nowadays, the most common domestic adoptions are at least semi-open. This means that the birthparents can have the choice of who they want to adopt their child. Then, the adoptive parents and birth parents can work out a plan of contact. This plan may include periodic visits, emails, phone calls, or just pictures and letters.

Adoption can be wonderful!
My family is proof that adoption can be an amazing blessing. Adopting is not for everyone, and these are the first issues that need to be considered before even filling out an application for an adoption agency or facilitator. If all of these things have been carefully considered, then it may be time to start looking into your adoption options!