Considering a Second Marriage?

"After marriage and kids, I find myself suddenly single and alone. My husband and I have long been separated and I put off dating because my kids were still living with me. Now that they are married and living apart from me, I feel that I am ready for a second chance, for a second love. At 47, however, I don't think I should be cruising bars."

I wrote back:

Going to bars is an opportunity for you to meet people, but you must have your values and criteria ready all the time. It will also be important to note, and to make sure, that you are healed emotionally from your previous relationship.

Usually, remarrying at a point where the children are already married and living apart reduces complications. At that age, we are certain, that this second relationship is mainly for companionship. Therefore, friendship with this prospective partner should be the priority and should be nurtured. Growing old with your best friend and being devotedly in love are your goals. Move on, go and attend parties, socialize with friends, check out the bars, join clubs and communities that may interest you and hopefully you will meet Mr Right in one of them.

Marriageable characteristics of Mr. Right is maturity, capacity for intimacy, problem-solving skills, similarities in background and interests. These are the qualities important for a great second chance, thus it applies to both young or old.

If you have met Mr. Right, a year and a half of courtship would be a good rule of thumb before tying the knot. Because whirlwind courtships can still be risky despite your mature age. At all times remember that there is no substitute to knowing the person thoroughly. Rest assured, you can say 'I do' take two.

Congratulations on choosing to celebrate love once more!