Consult Other Mothers: They Are a Wealth of Knowledge

When I became a stepmom I had a lot of problems trying to figure out the best way to handle things. It seemed everything I tried just didn't work with my stepson. His Father was at the end of his rope and his own Mother was too.

At first I was embarrassed to turn to another mother for advice. I didn't want to admit that everything I tried had failed.

I soon found out, this is the greatest resource. They've been there, they've done that, and are happy to talk you through the rough times. Sometimes things that worked for them may work for you. You may get a new perspective on how to handle things that you hadn't thought of before. Other times you'll feel comfortable knowing that they've been where you are standing more than once.

I often think that talking to someone else who has been in the same boat gives you more confidence in handling the matter. If you come across confident but stern when problems arise, instead of wishy-washy, you are bound to get more results.

One of the hardest things for me to learn was the difference between friend and role model. It's a very find line. The friend understands and is there for stepchildren to talk to, but the role model aka stepmom must emerge often. This role model must put stipulations, determine right from wrong or sometimes say no.

The bottom line is please don't feel ashamed to ask them for help. You are not alone-whatever it is you are trying to figure out.

Another good resource is networking with moms across the internet is a great way to do that. There's a plethora of information to Mothers on the Internet. Mommy Talk is just one website where moms talk about everything and anything. Moms-to-Be can also find a ton of info from other mother's who have "been". For Stepmoms there is a great group on the web called SMOMS which has a site just for stepmom's. They give great tips and advice and share stories as well. Sometimes just a place to blow off excess seam and cool off, so you don't do it towards your children.