Contraception for Middle Schoolers

Are you serious? As a resident of Maine, learning that King Middle School has voted to allow children in grades 6-8 to obtain contraception without parental consent was shocking. Although I do not live in Portland, I do spend a lot of time there and I also have a lot of experience with children in the middle school since I am actively involved in the children's ministry at our church and my husband is has been a substitute teacher since he graduated high school. We have both devoted hours upon hours to mentoring middle schoolers from our junior years in high school until now. We are currently foster parents. We have friends who have middle schoolers in the Portland area that attend public school. I know middle schoolers.

Learning of this new policy prompted me to reminisce of my middle school years. I had a boyfriend then. He is now my husband, actually. I also had a boyfriend before him. My friends had boyfriends. It wasn't all that long ago so my recalling this is not irrelevant. During my middle school years, I do recall that a lot of my 6th grade friends had already had the experience of "making out" with their little boyfriends/girlfriends since the fourth or fifth grade. Making out was generally kissing and maybe some groping here and there. It was a little uncomfortable to me even when I was that age. Personally, I do think that those activities can lead up to sex if they are not handled appropriately. However, I can say that those that were making out with each other in the fourth grade also did not have good role models or parental supervision in their lives. As a child at that point in my life, I did not have good parental supervision either. My parents were always too drunk to even care where in the neighborhood I could possibly be at midnight, but by the grace of God- He did place caring adults in my life who filled in some gaps that would have been left void in my life without them.

Unfortunately, while many of my friends were 'experimenting with their sexuality', some did start having sex before high school. I am not going to try to deny that some middle schoolers are having sex. But I am going to tell you that I am disgusted at the approach that the school board members have taken to try to fix this problem of increased sexual activity and the risk of pregnancy and STD's in young children. We are talking about children as young as eleven years old here! First and foremost, I am telling you that a child that young does not need a pill, condom or a patch to prevent them from possibly having a baby or STD. The root of this issue is the very real and rapid moral decline of our entire country and world today. Sex is meant for a husband and wife (now I know many of you are going to strongly disagree, but this is my story...you can write your own). With that said, the implication of husband and wife assumes that they are adults, not eleven and thirteen year olds.

Furthermore, a pill is not going to fix the problem at all. Keep in mind that this school is located in the Portland area in Maine. It is Maine's largest city which means that many of these children are living in poverty, single family homes etc. An often common denominator in childhood promiscuity is the possibility that the child has been sexually abused or molested. The reality is that these are risk factors for a child to begin experimenting in risky behaviors such as sex. This tells me that it is not contraception that we should be handing out. We should be focusing on how we can create a positive impact in these children's lives and reduce the risk factors that would expose them to this dangerous and immoral behavior. If everyone would do their part, we could nip this in the bud- so to speak and not have to worry as much about fixing the problem after it has already become a problem.

We need mentors:
Churches- open your eyes, stop playing victim and pretending that no one wants to hear what you have to say about purity. Our children need to hear from you now more than ever. Get into the schools and your neighborhoods and be there for them. Don't wait for them to come to you. Get out there and know the children in your neighborhoods. Help the parents out by mentoring and befriending them Invite them to church.

Teachers and School Board Members- stop going with the flow and just accepting the new "fad" in sex and fashion. Crack down on promiscuous sexual dress. Have compassion. Recognize that these kids are not experimenting with their sexuality, they are confused and some are helpless victims of sexual abuse who have been psychologically damaged. Help heal them. Discourage sexual touching in school like holding hands because it leads to inappropriate touching.

Parents- don't let your kids have co-ed sleep overs. It doesn't matter how many chaparones you have. Don't be so naive! Kids can find ways to "experiment" with just a little creativity. Monitor your kids clothing. You can dress fashionably without looking like a hooker. Don't be afraid to talk to your children about sex when it is appropriate. It is primarily your responsibility to protect your child!

Community- If you don't agree with what I am saying then at the very least, consider the very minimum responsibility of asking that kids be protected from having sex in the first place by not allowing them to have access to contraception in MIDDLE SCHOOL! At least push for the age limit of 18 years old. Also, recognize that the availability of contraception to children is going to have one of two affects in these kids minds: it will either cause them to feel pressure to start having sex because the natural consequences have been removed or two it will cause the majority to celebrate this new "License" to start having sex.

Please keep in mind, I am not in any way disputing the fact that sex at the preteen level actually exists. My point is that this is a tragedy. If you don't want teenagers having babies and getting ill from experimenting with sex then you can either encourage your child to "wait" and be present in their lives to try to reduce the risk of them having sex before they are ready: Or you can put prescription strength drugs into our young children's bodies, cross your fingers and hope for no serious side effects and wonder why kids are still getting sick when they choose not to use the contraception.