Controlling Anger Before it Controls You

For the most part, anger is a normal, usually healthy human emotion. But when you find that your anger has become destructive, it is time to make improvements before it takes its toll and begins to control you. Improper release of anger can lead to various problems in your life. Often a result of stress and changes in personality, anger can gradually lead to problems at work, home, and more importantly, with people you care about the most. Feelings toward a specific person, or event, worries about personal problems, and memories of particularly painful or traumatic events can all trigger a rise in anger. Our natural instinct is to react aggressively. There is a common misconception that "letting it all hang out," or in other words, reacting to everything that makes you angry, is healthy. However, research has shown that this form of expressing anger actually leads to escalated anger, and in the end does nothing to resolve the situation, but instead intensifies it.

One way of changing your behavior in situations that trigger anger is learning to manage your thoughts. Certain thoughts will intensify feelings of anger, whereas others will lower the level of anger that you feel. By learning which thoughts lower anger, in comparison to those which intensify, you can learn to replace the negative with the positive. In situations where you may not have all of the facts, it is especially important to be able to recognize and control your thoughts. Jumping to conclusions will often lead to anger that you may later find was unnecessary. When you are able to control your thoughts, outbursts of unhealthy anger can be decreased, as well as eliminating unnecessary stress on your mind and body.

Studying relaxation and meditation techniques can be very helpful in times of stress and anger. In times when you feel you cannot control your thoughts long enough to talk out your anger, having a journal in which you can write a letter to the person, or about an event which has made you angry can be a great way of releasing that anger without doing harm to yourself and the people around you. This technique is also helpful in the sense that after you have calmed down, you can read over what you have written and get some insight into the thoughts that course through your mind in times of anger, as well as get a feel for how your anger impacts the people around you.

For some people, being creative can be a healthy and relaxing outlet for anger. Playing an instrument, drawing, painting, and writing are just a few of the many ways of incorporating creativity into the release of anger. Expressing anger in music, artwork, and poetry are great ways to relieve your mind of the negative thoughts and feelings that are dwelling inside of you. You may also discover a talent you weren't previously aware that you possessed.

Just as there are people who display very intense outburst when angry, there are others who bottle their anger up, and never show it. While this may seem perfectly okay, in fact it is just as damaging as aggressive outbursts. You may do this for fear of losing people, jobs, or your reputation, but by not expressing your anger in a healthy way, you set yourself up for future disappointments and increased stress, because you are giving the source of your anger the "green light," or in other words, the impression that you condone their behavior. Recognizing that something is wrong is the first step in setting it right. Embrace healthy confrontation. If someone has done something to anger you, tell them- in a positive and constructive way. Avoidance can lead to destruction of self and relationships just as unhealthy outbursts can. By not communicating your anger in a healthy way, you leave no opportunity for the person who has hurt and angered you to recognize their faults and work together to improve what is wrong.

In appropriate situations, and in limited amounts, there is nothing wrong with anger. When you have recognized that you have a problem with controlling and expressing anger, it is crucial to take steps in managing that anger, as it can have negative effects on physical health in the long run. Chronic anger can lead to increased chance of heart attack, depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure. Releasing anger is normal, and healthy, and if done so in a way that is not destructive to yourself and the people around you, anger can be a healthy emotion that you should not have to feel guilty about.

Source:
Mayo Clinic Staff
Anger Management Tips
Adult Health

Source:
Anger Management Techniques