Controlling Emotions on the Job

We live in an age when we are encouraged to express ourselves-between the daily deluge of talk shows and self-help books and all the counselors and therapists who urge us to "process" and express, many of us have come to assume that we are supposed to express every thought and emotion that pops into our heads. All of this emotional expression, however, can be hurting our careers.

This is not to say that we need to return to mid-twentieth century workplaces that were void of any emotionality at all, but there is a time and a place for emotional expression. In fact, spontaneous outbursts of anger, sadness or other overwhelming emotions may not improve the work environment much at all. Basic social skills suggest that in order to be competently "social," we need to learn how to control those spontaneous outbursts of emotions or even learn how to downplay or feign emotions that we may not be feeling.

For example, if a coworker has received kudos or a promotion, our initial emotions might be those of envy, jealousy or even anger if we feel that we are being slighted or that the attention to the coworker is undeserved. Is it healthy to actually express those emotions? Well, it is probably healthy to get them out and express them somewhere but sharing them with coworkers, a supervisor or the "target" or object of those emotions is probably quite unwise. It is not going to help our career or our status in the company if we have a big envious emotional outburst in the office!

Instead, congratulations are in order. We feign or pretend that we are happy for the coworker and offer to help. By controlling our emotions and dealing with them elsewhere, we are more valuable in the workplace (and making better choices for our own selves too.)

There is nothing wrong with feeling our emotions and expressing them, it is simply that the work environment may not be the best place to feel and express everything. Controlling our emotions on the job is actually an important element to building a career and experiencing success at work.