Conversation Topics to Avoid on a First Date

First dates can be full of awkward conversation. While talking about general topics such as hobbies, pets, family and work, occasionally the first date conversation may turn to topics you'd rather avoid. Here's how to mention them when necessary and move on.

Religion and Politics

Unless you're working on a senator's re-election campaign or you met your date on a Christian dating website, it's probably best to avoid discussing religion and politics on the first date. If your life centers around religion and politics, it would make sense to mention them--but there's no reason to bring up the two most serious and controversial topics if they do not define your life.

When my husband and I first started dating, he had mentioned that he was Christian. Since I do not share his faith, I simply asked him if he was extremely religious. He described (and later demonstrated) his open-minded beliefs, so I knew that my own spiritual choices were not a deal breaker.

This was a topic we avoided discussing in serious depth until we were more comfortable with one another. While we share different religious and political beliefs, we've found that our ethics are extremely similar--and that's the important part for us.

Past Relationships

Avoiding specific discussion of past relationships and previous dates with others is best. Talking about past relationships is an easy way to make a conversation instantly awkward; it can make your date feel uncomfortable.

It's okay and honest to divulge certain information about past relationships. Many singles prefer to be upfront about their status if they're divorced, have kids or are recently out of a long-term relationship. Letting your date know this can help him or her understand you--but keep it general.

Going on about how great the sex was or how horrible you felt when your former partner cheated on you is way too specific and personal for the first date, especially if you're trying to take it slow.

I once dated someone who was clearly hung up on his past relationships. I was confident, but when he got into detail about all of the things past girlfriends did that annoyed him, I began to feel completely paranoid.

He mentioned certain physical preferences about previous women, and I didn't have those. By the end of the first date, I was left wondering why he had even asked me out. Obviously he had mistaken me for a free therapist instead of a potential girlfriend.

Dwelling on Difficulties

Be honest on a first date, but present yourself well. If your date asks you about your job and you are unemployed, it's best to tell the truth. That doesn't mean you should go on about the various difficulties of unemployment or your financial problems. Dwelling on your problems in unattractive.

Still, it's acceptable to mention some difficulties. When I first started dating my husband, we talked generally about our family lives. While we discovered that we had similar upbringings and backgrounds, he mentioned that his father had died recently.

My future husband did not drag on about the topic or go into specifics, but he still revealed something about himself that defined his recent years. As we grew closer, he went into detail about his loss and how it made him feel, but I'm glad he didn't divulge such heavy information on our first date.

I felt privileged and trusted when he at last talked to me about how much he loved and missed his father. This information would have been overwhelming and would not have meant as much to me if he had expounded upon this topic on our first few dates.

You are more than your religion, politics, past relationships and financial difficulties. While these topics may come up on a first date, going into detail about them gives your date a view of only part of who you are. Instead, consider presenting various aspects of your personality and interests and focus on upbeat conversation.

If you're worried about these topics coming up in conversation on a first date, try selecting a date location that encourages you to talk about something else. A concert, movie (before dinner or coffee) or a miniature golf outing provide surroundings for positive, lighthearted discussion.