Conversations and Your Opinion

The hardest part of any conversation, as the one speaking, is getting the potential listener to actually listen to what YOU have to say. We are all the centers of our own universe, so this can be a daunting task, depending on who you may be talking to.

The first rule is to BE a good listener. Without this skill, you might as well forget about getting your point across. NO ONE wants to just listen, unless they're at a lecture, theater, concert, etc. They may pretend they are fascinated with what you're saying, but inside they're probably thinking what a pompous ass you are. In other words, you may have to actually really care about what they think before you can get them to care about what you think. Sounds pretty elementary, doesn't it? That's easier said than done.

A sage will sit and listen for as long as it takes for someone to finish their thoughts before offering any feedback. Any psychologist or psychiatrist has to master this "art" before they can be successful in their fields. Of course, they're getting paid to just listen. Their feedback is mostly questions.

If you have a point to make, wait until the time is right. Generally speaking, even the most boisterous person will have to take a breath sometime. If you are interrupted before you get three words into your response, you know they're not finished yet, and you will have to patiently wait, but maybe you can make a gesture of upward and outward palms, raising your eyebrows simultaneously. This conveys your dissatisfaction of being interrupted. If the potential listener is oblivious to said gesture, chances are your opinion will never REALLY be heard, so you can now tune them out unless, of course, what they're saying is of such great wisdom that you are actually learning something. Chances are, you're not, except that they are, in fact, a pompous ass. Most people are not entirely that rude, but a lot of them will have varying degrees of it.

When you do get your chance, use it wisely. You might first respond by acknowledging their thoughts are valid, whether they are or not. Sometimes you just have to lie. Next, get to the point without all the unnecessary details, even if you had to endure the same. This will guarantee your opinion will be taken seriously, and may actually change their mind, if the conversation was of conflicting views, and your opinion is indeed valid.

Keep in mind, however, if you're not entirely convinced of your own opinion, and you do manage to change their mind, you are now responsible for their new thought.

Opinions are scary things, sometimes. Use them with great caution. I've found that a disclaimer, following your opinion, is always best. It will ensure the listener knows you're just another human being, too.