Cooking with Eggs, Part 1: Scrambled

Creating scrambled eggs is easier than most people are led to believe. All that you need is a non-stick skillet (You can make this by taking a regular skillet and rubbing butter all over it), a stirring utensil, at least one chicken egg, and an adjustable heating surface.

(Disclaimer: Do not try these techniques while substituting any other animals' egg for a chicken egg, as doing so could be hazardous to your health)

The first step in the egg scrambling process is the removal of the shell. The yolk must be removed safely and completely from the shell. This is the most dangerous part as splattered yolk can lead, in the long term, to salmonella in the kitchen. If yolk is splattered then use a strong antibacterial product to help keep the area safe. You should wait until the eggs are fully cooked and consumed before you begin the cleaning process, as anti-bacterial cleaning products do not enhance an eggs flavor.

I use a simple one-handed method for cleanly cracking an egg. While holding the egg with the vertical plane of the oblate spheroid parallel to your hand bones pinch the top of the egg with your thumb and forefinger. Your other fingers are cupping the egg's lower quarter. Using a deft roll of your wrist sharply bring the center of your egg down upon the edge of a skillet. Use caution, as too much force will shove the skillet's edge through the egg, ruining your meal. A proper break involves using your thumb and it's leverage upon the egg's surface to draw the pieces apart. With time, you will be able to use this advanced technique to separate the egg's shell into two solid pieces. As the shell splits, the egg drops cleanly into the pan, and the shell can go into the trash. This aspect of the cooking process is important as a misplaced shell can reduce the enjoyment rendered upon your taste buds.

Once the shell has been removed and the egg is safely in the skillet, you may either repeat the de-shelling process or just cook the skillet's contents.

For a slightly slower cooking time; maybe to give you time to change a diaper, drink some coffee, or just sit for a minute and enjoy breathing, than cook the egg with about 40% of the burner's heat. This will give your a total cooking time of ten to thirty minutes depending on your oven's make and model.

As the heat from the burner is transferred into the skillet the eggs closest to the bottom of the pan will solidify. With the utensil of your choice, scrape the bottom and, "turn the eggs." Repeat this process often to avoid burning the egg proteins.

As you stir the eggs, think about what shape you want your final product to look like. Fine, quick movements of the hand produce an almost foamy product, which has the potential to be quite delectable. Broader, more random patterns give the classic scrambled egg shape. This is also an excellent time to add various mixers, like salsa or cheese. Try using different stirring tools in combination with various secondary food products to see what kind of concoctions you can create.