Coping with Death

Rebecca Said
Death is something that, obviously, we all have to face at some time in our lives. Whether it is earlier than expected or not. Obviously, death is something that none of us wants to contemplate too long or hard, but when it happens to someone we love, respect or care deeply for, it hits our world like a descending, black chaos.

Depending on how the death occurs and whether it was expected or not has an effect on our coping mechanisms. For someone that has been through a long illness, which has been diagnosed terminal, death may be a welcome relief. And often, to the people around him/her, it is a relief too. This is not a bad thing. Nobody wants to see their loved ones suffer day after day, slowly wasting away until there is nothing left but a shell.

However, traumatic death is something else entirely. This comes like a physical blow; your body reels from the shock and you may feel as though you are drowning. This is how I felt when I learned that my step-father had been killed in a car crash. I was only young (about 16) and it totally crushed me. I felt that this was some sort of joke. This sort of thing didn't happen to normal, everyday people.

But, sadly, it does and when it happens how do we cope? Well, the answer is:

Some of us cope quite well and some of us don't. The understanding of death is subjective; and therefore is coped with in many different ways. Other cultures have specific mourning, burial, and remembrance traditions, which, I think, are probably helpful in guiding them through a grieving process.

For ourselves, the coping mechanism really depends on our own attitudes. If we can believe that someone has gone to a 'better place' then that is a great way to wish them farewell. For others, who don't believe in an 'afterlife' saying goodbye may be harder...

Many people become angry at G-d; why me?, why them?, why?, why?, WHY?

There is no answer to this and we all know it. Life sometimes appears to be unfair and generally, it is. But this journey of life that we are all undertaking is one, we know, to be short... Death is but a simple step in this journey, this is what I believe. I do not think it ends there, but I don't know. So I choose to avoid Death but not be afraid...in the end (pardon the pun) there really is no point, is there?

Published by Rebecca Said

Rebecca Said enjoys writing about a wide variety of subjects. Strong interests include animal welfare, dogs and cats, internet marketing and politics.  View profile

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