Coping with the Effects of Child Abandonment

The effects of child abandonment can be hard on children of any age. The parent or guardian that is left to care for the child has to work extra hard to care for the child alone. Helping the child cope with the effects of abandonment won't be easy.

Coping with the Effects of Child Abandonment-Reassurance

Reassure the child that they did not do anything to cause their parent to leave. Kids often blame themselves for their parents separating or getting a divorce. So the fact that a parent doesn't call or visit is likely to make them think that they did something to cause the absence. Talk to the child and let them know that they did nothing wrong.

You may also need to reassure them that you are not going to leave them. The absence of one parent can cause a child to be afraid that everyone they love will eventually abandon them.

Coping with the Effects of Child Abandonment-Be Honest

Making up lies or making excuses for the absent parent will not help the child. You don't have to give them every detail of the situation or bad mouth the other parent. Just let them know that the absent parent loves them, but explain that some people don't know the right ways to show their love.

Lying or making excuses will backfire as the child gets older. They will figure out the truth and may get angry with you for not being honest from the beginning.

Coping with the Effects of Child Abandonment-Praise the Child

Children that are abandoned may develop low self-esteem. Encourage and praise the child whenever an opportunity arises. Getting them involved in sports, music, or another extracurricular activity may also help boost their self-esteem.

Coping with the Effects of Child Abandonment-Be Supportive

There may come a time that the child wants to contact the absent parent or they just want to talk about them. Be supportive and understanding if this happens. If you have information about the other parent, you can help by sharing the information with them. If they want to talk, listen and don't use this as an opportunity to talk bad about the absent parent.

Coping with the Effects of Child Abandonment-Know when to Get Help

If your child's behavior changes drastically and they continue going down hill after you have tried all the other tips, it may be time to take them to a counselor. Talking with someone outside the family, that is not involved in the situation will often help a child to come to a better understanding about why these things have happened.

You know the child better than anyone and can judge their actions and reactions to being abandoned. Steps need to be taken as quickly as possible to help cope with the effects of child abandonment.

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Abandonment