Coping with Emotional Pain

Something that cuts deep like emotional pain is incomparable to anything else (maybe to your femur bone getting cracked in half). The type of mental stress that it puts on the brain for some may be tougher than physical pain, as you can null out physical pain by medicines, painkillers, or just plain old passing out. Something like emotional baggage will most likely stay with you for the rest of your life unless you lose your memory.

So, how do people deal with such hurt? Most people either lash out with rage or cower in a corner and cry it out. Whatever you decide to do, it is imperative that you think positively because life WILL go on. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, the breakup of a lifetime, sexual/emotional rejection, the earth will still turn, the sun will rise, and babies will be born every day. Here are some ways to fight through those tough emotional times.

Understand that you have no Control

During moments of extreme grief, it is easy to realize that the reason you are so defeated is that you have no control over the situation. Once you realize this, you can truly allow the healing to begin. We tend to put up emotional walls on a daily basis, and as they fall, we finally realize that at our darkest hour we have no defenses left. In order to build back our emotional fort, we have to realize that there are certain times where we will need to accept that not all things are under our control. That doesn't mean it won't hurt, but with that, the real steps to recovery can begin. The main reason that people have so much trouble trying to cope with emotional distress is that they will not let go of their ego and fail to realize that there are times when this will happen. "How could this happen to me?" or "Why am I so unlucky?" are exact opposites to what should be going through your mind. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, realize that yes, life isn't fair, yes you are not the only one to have experienced this. You control your own destiny to a certain extent.

Get Out

The simplest way to deal with something that is eating away at you emotionally is to get out, go do something, and forget about the issue. Granted, when you come back home or have some alone time you will still be thinking about your hurt, but in some cases, only time will heal the wounds. Going outside with friends to hang out or watch a movie will provide you with time to think about how much fun you can still have and how many things you can still achieve. Directing your attention to something that will help you be positive during the most troubled time will give you something sunny to reflect on at a later date when you still feel the aftershocks of the pain.

Understand your Feelings

Being honest to yourself emotionally is one of the best ways to cope with your pain. Many people are taught at a young age that crying is a sign of weakness and instability. Be as it may, crying is a natural emotion that we need to embrace in times of hurt. If you hurt, then let it out. Keeping it inside will only stress you out mentally as you struggle to find out what is wrong - it's simple, you need to cry. Emotions are the reason we as humans have the ability to feel alive. Understanding what you feel at a certain time in life is vital to understanding where you need to go and how to deal with your current situation. Such strong feelings as emotional pain need to be understood and released on a gradual basis. Nothing will be solved in one day. Your pain will not disintegrate unless you allow it to; releasing such strong emotional attachments need to be done in the proper place, time and at the proper pace.

Someone who has never experienced a very hurtful emotional situation has yet to feel truly "alive." Just like the Jigsaw Killer in SAW puts people in certain situations to make them cherish their lives, people who have gone through traumatic emotional events (provided that they deal with them accordingly) will understand what joy it is to have no emotional baggage.

Organize your Memories

Someone once told me something extremely important: "You can never erase your past, only try to forget it." With respect to emotional pain, it is possible to structure your memories around your rather finer moments. The last step to emotional healing is to let your painful memories fade into the backdrop of your life, as time is usually the catalyst to this effect. With the passing of time, you will slowly realize that life goes on and that you have other things to do - maybe it's your civic duties to society or your responsibility to your children. Whatever it is, with realization that that painful period of your life is over, it is time to bring to the forefront of what makes you happiest. You will never be fully able to forget painful memories, just dull them out with happier moments.

In order to understand happiness we must understand pain. Without having eaten a juicy apple, you will never realize the grief of not being able to eat one. There are two sides to the equation, and people who realize that will ultimately heal faster and with more taken away from the experience.

Everyone will experience joy, happiness, sadness, and sorrow. Life is about experiencing both sides and learning to get through it and accept it. Once you have done that, you will have a more profound understanding about what it means to have compassion and love.