Coping with Holiday Blues

Depression and even suicide attempts tend to increase around the winter holidays, even though a popular song says it's the "happiest time of the year." Although most people don't experience a full clinical depression, the holiday blues are very common. You've probably heard or read many ideas for coping with the blues - here are some that may be a bit different.

First, recognize that it is a common experience. This means there is no reason to feel guilt! We often tell ourselves, especially if we're coming from a Christian perspective, that we "should" be happy at this time, and if we aren't, then we must be doing something wrong. If Jesus was born to bring joy to the world, then what happened to us? The answer to this question is - nothing! It simply means that we are human.

There are several potential reasons for feeling holiday blues. These include lack of adequate sunlight, stress, financial issues, weight issues, overconsumption of alcohol and/or refined carbohydrates, and family conflicts. Some of these you can change, while others you cannot. However, chastising yourself about the past will only make the problem worse. Guilt stops being useful once we recognize there is a problem. Let go of your guilt, and you will have more strength to change what you can!

Second, spend time in natural sunlight as much as possible. If it is too cold, working or reading near a sunny window can also help. But getting outside is the most beneficial, even when it's cloudy. Nature is one of life's sources of unconditional love, and when you are down, you need lots of that!

Third, pamper yourself every day! It doesn't have to be anything major - if you have the opportunity to enjoy a manicure or massage, that's wonderful. But if you don't, taking 15 minutes to yourself to relax and enjoy a cup of hot tea or coffee can make a huge difference in your feelings. Acknowledge your needs and realize you are in charge of getting them met. By doing this, you are acting as another source of unconditional love!

Fourth, simplify, simplify, simplify. I cannot stress this enough (pun intended!). Determine what the holiday you celebrate really means to you. Is it about Jesus' birth, the spirit of giving, the value of family, the faithfulness of God? Whatever it is, focus your activities on the deeper meaning. This will allow you to eliminate some of the stressful "frills" that can overwhelm you, cause financial issues, and eventually result in depression.

Fifth, if family conflicts are ruining your holiday spirit, look for an approach that works for you. If the conflict involves you directly, examine your behavior for anything that you can change yourself. It's not easy to apologize, especially if the other person won't, but if it clears up the conflict, imagine how much more pleasant your celebrations will be! Be on the look-out for possible misunderstandings, as these are often the underlying cause of hard feelings.

If the conflict does not involve you directly, determine what effects it is having on you and your family. Is Christmas dinner marred every year by the same old arguments between older members of the family? If so, are you being emotionally harmed by your presence there? Sometimes, in order to keep ourselves and our families sane, it is necessary to withdraw from those situations. You may or may not want to discuss your reasons with family members before making a decision.

Finally, remember that your experience of the holidays is greatly influenced by your beliefs and attitudes. Perhaps some of them need to be changed; if so, you and you alone have the power to do so. Remember that saying, "If it is to be, it is up to me." Happy Holidays!