Coping Mechanisms for Nervous Habits: How to Cope with Cutting

Most cutters are women who have been abused in some manner and sought to conceal it or at least not discuss it publicly, but research indicates that cutting also occurs in other groups including many actors such as Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci . Princess Diana had a cutting habit and tried numerous therapies. Cutting has become very common among teens and young adults. Therapists say there are now new treatments from medication to intensive psychotherapy - for the millions of "cutters". It is not a teenage phase, it does need to be addressed. While some people have been able to stop on their own, it takes a great deal of self control and making a conscious decision. Such was the case of Angelina Jolie, who made a decision to stop destructive behaviors like cutting after deciding to adopt Maddox. However, for many people, the level of self control is difficult to obtain alone, and trying to find an outlet for emotional pain and stress is often difficult to do alone.

Cutting is more than a nervous habit, it can be a powerful addiction. Unlike drugs or alcohol or smoking - a person can be forced in rehab to not use those substances for a period of time, but it is virtually impossible to stop someone from cutting unless they want to stop. Usually, it is a way of coping with some form of stress. The cutter uses physical pain to alleviate emotional pain. It is an easy habit to hide as long as the cutter selects a concealed spot on the body that no one sees, or at least can be explained with excuses of an injury that seems plausible and unremarkable. Most cutters become proficient enough to cut small areas that would be concealed under a band-aid and not raise too much suspicion, so it can go on for years without being really noticeable. Since no one sees it, it can get out of control quickly. While not done with suicidal intent in mind, sometimes a person can bleed more than they expected, and can do real harm to themselves. So the first step if you are a cutter, is asking yourself what cutting does for you, what are your thinking about when you start feeling the urge to cut and is there a situation with your family or friends or the like that is causing this sort of pain or stress that is so acute for you yet you feel you must conceal it.

Are you able to see a pattern in when you cut - whether due to a fight with a friend, family member or someone you are dating, or some other stressful issue - that will help you isolate the source of the problem and help you address the stress. Years ago when it was less known as a addiction based in coping, a college freshman lived at home and would engage in cutting after fights with her parents about money. The cutting largely stopped when she moved out of the house because the friction ended, they no longer had financial dealings. However, she still has some dealings with her family, and since cutting is a coping method, that needs to be dealt with as well. Some cutters think they are the only one who cuts, so the thought of getting help to stop seems impossible. If you are able to break the stress pattern itself, it will make it easier to stop cutting when a new stressful situation or unspecified stress occurs. If you cannot see a pattern, try keeping a diary of when you cut and what you remember about circumstances surrounding the event. Then you can document a pattern, even if you yourself cannot see one, perhaps a professional or a friend can.

Speaking about it with someone else may help. If you feel that you tell someone to their face, try a letter or over the phone. Confiding can be a positive step toward your recovery. Find a cutters online forum if you do not feel comfortable talking to others yet. This person can help you make a plan to cope and be supportive. If the person you are speaking to at times causes the stress that leads to your cutting, remember their shock over their role in causing you pain may overshadow their reaction of concern for your well being. Many people reporting trauma or shocking news to a family member that is a more tangible concept to understand, such as that they have been raped or molested by a third party, are often met with a reaction based primarily in shock and denial than the feelings they have towards the person themselves, so the true reaction may not be helpful, it is likely disbelief. But if this occurs, this will subside and then a plan can be implemented or at least you have some support to cope with the cutting habit and the underlying stress. Since you likely have concealed your pain so well with the cutting which was also concealed, the other person will likely not realize that the distressful situation even caused you pain since you did not do the things people often do when upset. Since someone else does not understand how this developed as a coping mechanism, they may just feel someone can just stop and not do it again. This is worth a try, but most likely, not the case that you can just stop unless you just started. It is also likely that other forms of compulsion exist in your life without realizing it. All of us have some level of compulsion within our personalities, it is rare that any one truly controls all of their impulses and emotions in a healthy manner, it is usually manifest in obvious ways like over eating or smoking or drinking habits that someone might expect you to do instead if they know you are stressed or upset. You however, have carefully selected a coping method that allowed you to appear as if you were not phased by anything, so someone realizing you have feelings like everyone else and have dealt with it in a way they know little about is likely a surprise they will have to adjust to. However, cutting has been getting a lot of press lately since actors are more willing to talk about it, so it is not that you are the first person to ever do this and there are treatment remedies available. There is chance though, that the immediate family may not be the ones who can understand this well since they are so close to the issues that caused the stress in the first place. If this is the case, recognize their own needs to cope and decide if you want to involve another party quickly.

Talking to a doctor or therapist can help figure out if the cutting is part of another illness or would benefit from medication or exercises like calming yoga or other treatments. There is no reason not to go to the doctor when you need help, in this way, cutting is no different than any other illness or condition.

More religious leaders, especially younger ones, are becoming familiar with cutting, and if you are a religious person, while a religious leader cannot replace a doctor, you may take comfort in their prayers for you and any Biblical scriptures such as the sentiments found in Psalms and Proverbs that are intended to comfort a grieving or stressed individuals. For example, Psalm 55:22. You do not need to be religious to find the sentiments of Psalms and Proverbs calming and soothing, they are generally poetic.

You might also try putting your feelings into words by writing them down, Christina Ricci writes poetry and some musicians have expressed themselves this way. Since there has been found some correlation between creative types and cutting, so expression such as painting or music or writing can often turn some of this frustration that normally leads to cutting into a creative outlet. While this does not end cutting on its own, it does help to give you another outlet to express your pain and cope with stress while you seek a plan to stop cutting. If possible, cultivate a skill in one of these areas by taking a community college or publicly offered writing class - there are usually town sponsored classes for less than $100 or so, or if you are in school ,join a writing or drawing class to learn some techniques to make your creative expression easier to get started. Some online classes are even available for free.

Do remember that relapsing is likely, just like a smoker occasionally still feels like a cigarette even after quitting. Your life will likely never be stress free. But if you are innovative enough to figure out a coping mechanism like cutting in the first place, you can figure out a more productive coping mechanism that will not put you at such risk and likely be a preferred method of expression.