Coping with a Military PTSD Family Member: Top Tips

How to Cope with a Military PTSD Family Member - What's the best way to cure PTSD? And what can a family do for a soldier who's got it? As a former military member and now psychology grad student, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a topic that I've had great interest in exploring. There are other students in some of my classes that have been spouses of soldiers suffering from PTSD. Not only have we shared stories, we've studied the psychological aspects of PTSD in hopes to find out what family members can do to help heal and cope with it. This article is going to explore some of those aspects and what you can do as a family member of someone suffering from PTSD.

Understand PTSD's timing. One of the worst parts about post-traumatic stress disorder (or PTSD) is that a military member can show no symptoms for months before things start to go awry. All may seem well with your soldier when he comes home. For two or three months, he could seem like he's making a happy transition back to home life. He'll tell you that he worked hard overseas and things were ugly but he'll be o.k. But then comes that day when you see the significant behavior changes associated with PSTD: lack of sleep, withdrawn social activities, long gazing into nowhere, increased alcoholism, refusal to take part in family activities, avoidance of certain activities or destinations, etc. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Disorders-4 (DSM), the guide that psychologists use to assist in diagnosis, PTSD comes in different forms: acute, chronic and delayed onset. Acute means that the symptoms appear for less than 3 months; chronic is 3 months or more. Delayed onset is when PTSD appears at least 6 months after the event.

Understanding the timing of this can help you as a family cope a little more should your soldier show symptoms. If you see the symptoms extending for quite some time or appear late, you can give a better description of what you've seen to any counselors you talk to.

Don't Try To Force The Story Out. In fact, many therapists tread very lightly on asking the soldier what happened and to describe it in detail. What happens with PTSD is that the sufferer is constantly reliving the episode or parts of the episode unwillingly in his mind. As much as he tries to avoid it, a PTSD sufferer has a hard time escaping that memory. The DSM 4 reads that PTSD is associated with a two-part event, 1) Witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event that threatened death or physical integrity to self or others and 2) a feeling of helplessness, horror or intense fear. Asking someone to "tell you what happened" over and over again is like asking them to completely be immersed in that experience.

Many therapists suggest to just offer a hand in comfort and understanding but to encourage him to talk to a professional. You don't always want to walk around eggshells because you have your rights and desires, too. But you do want to create a safe zone. When your soldier is ready to talk, he'll talk. As with therapy for many people, your soldier has to "want" to get better first and work of off their goals and not yours or the therapists. Many therapists try to get PTSD sufferers into group therapy with others who have had the same experiences. The experiences never go away; it is a matter of managing the reactions to them.

Use All The Military Resources To Their Fullest. Unfortunately the military offers very little in the way of family counseling and group counseling. What is offered can vary from base to base and branch to branch. They will provide help and counseling for the soldier. You can get some help from base organizations like the Air Force's Airman and Family Readiness Center, but that help is very limited.

Your best bet to get good counseling is to use militaryonesource.com. The military offers to pay for 6 sessions of personal counseling through a referral at no cost to you. What's more is that those counseling services are per ISSUE. Therapists will tell you that 6 sessions is not always enough to help a clients reach their goal (in your case, helping your family deal with PTSD), but it is a start. Some counselors will offer you a reduced rate. Or you can use your own insurance company to continue on. Either way, explore each and every military resource you have and continue to document it. Should your soldier choose to separate from the military, documentations will help you get monetary claims and further free counseling. There is also a group called the Give An Hour Foundation that is providing free counseling to service-members.

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