Coping with Pagan Prejudice in Public School

Public school can be nothing short of a nightmare for pagans. When my daughter was in public school the worst thing that I grew to dread was the beginning of each back to school season. While other parents were worrying over the cost of back to school wardrobes I was fixated on the fact that we were Pagan of all things.Often the worst part of the whole school year was that first meeting between the parents and teachers at open house. I was always laden with anxiety. Were we going to have another teacher who was prejudiced against my child because of our pagan beliefs, or would we luck out and have a tolerant educator? Year after year we went through this back to school scenario. Unfortunately, for the entire 10 years that my daughter was enrolled in public school we lucked out only twice with Pagan tolerant teachers.

Living in the area that we do, the prejudice and abuse my daughter suffered in school might be considered downright bizarre outside the Bible belt, where Pagans are notoriously ostracized,but it did help us learn a lot of coping skills during her primary and middle school years. I hope that I can share some of this with other pagan parents ( or parents of pagan children) who are experiencing the same ordeal as school approaches once again. Here are some tips that might help pagan parents prepare for the dreaded back to school season and the upcoming school year.

How to Prepare Your Child Before School Starts

Discuss your childs feelings about Paganism and faith with your child before the school year begins. It seems like a no brainer to many people, but to pagan parents this can be somewhat difficult. While we don't want to turn our kids into the proselytizing converting types that they have to go to school with, it is important that they discuss with you how to handle ugly situations without causing them to escalate. One such situation occurred for us with a girl intent on converting my daughter who continually gave out Bibles at school, which she insisted my daughter take and read. The young lady continually gave her anti pagan lectures when she gave out the Bibles. My daughter eventually became angry with her after she had done this several times. This resulted in quite a bit of 'religious' bullying from her classmates. I might have helped her if I had been aware of this before the school year began, and had schooled her a bit in talking about paganism with others. Help your children to understand that some other people's religions almost dictate that they behave in such a way, and that they can be understanding without compromising their own beliefs.Remind them that being a pagan is largely about acceptance and tolerance and that is they want those things they must return them, as well. A simple thank you for a well intentioned gift is far more productive in getting what you want than a heated debate over religion between fourth graders.

We love them , they are cute, but let's face it children can be very mean and obnoxious, largely because they have no tact. While you can't expect a child to develop tact right off the bat (that would be unnatural) you can go far in helping them develop the skills they need to stand their ground without being pushy. Remind them that when their classmates tell them what they should think it is annoying and that is true in the reverse as well. Help them understand that their beliefs are different but so very different, and help them understand how they can explain that to others.

How to Deal With Anti Pagan Faculty

Nothing makes a parent feel more like a child than having to deal with school administration. In a very real sense these people have you at their mercy. The best rule of thumb is always to to practice what you preach. If you are telling your kids to be tactful in dealing with people who don't understand their religious values , then you should be prepared to do the same. Bear in mind that when teachers harass your children or advise psychotherapy (don't laugh it happened to me) because your child is pagan, that they may be doing these things simply because they do not understand. If you feel like this might be the case try to educate them, share a little about your life in a friendly way. There is no need to give them all the details, but do allow them to see that being Pagan is a religious choice of your family and not a rebellion of your child. Often faculty will view Paganism as a problem because they mistakenly view it as a child's way of acting out instead of a faith. Make them aware that you practice Paganism, and if necessary that it is a legally recognized and constitutionally protected religion.

What to Do When Worst Comes to Worst

In our case it finally came down to Pagan homeschooling. My daughter was continually harassed by teachers, administration , other students and parents to the point that it became unbearable. I never went to the extreme of filing a lawsuit because children find that sort of thing extremely embarrassing and I couldn't add to her misery. Pagan homeschooling is not financially feasible for everyone however, and sometimes drastic measures have to be taken. If your child is the sort who insists on being 'out of the broom closet' or "pagan and Proud' and wants to take their issue to the school board then that might be a route you would consider. Remember you and your child have the freedom of religion , and that includes the right to be pagan if you so chose, those who harass or try to stifle that right within the school are breaking the law, and can be held accountable. School boards are often very aware of this fact and can be as far as you need to go. If it ever does come to that there are many resources available to pagan parents that can be quite helpful, check with your local legal aid office, or even contact your local ACLU branch for advice if need be.

One of the most important pieces of advice I can share with Pagan parents is this. Most of the people who approach your child in school and end up harassing them about their Pagan beliefs are really good people, who have really good intentions. It is important to be tolerant of them, but no one has to be subjected to misery in school. Be aware of what your child is going through and don't let good intentions turn into hatred and discrimination.