Coping with Sibling Rivalry in Toddlers

Combating sibling rivalry in toddlers can be quite overwhelming as you first begin to notice signs of sibling jealousy and toddler behavior problems. Many times this happens when a new baby comes home from the hospital and is especially common in toddlers and young children. This is because younger children are not yet old enough to understand the changes that are happening. My own son was three years old when his sister was born and having been a "Momma's boy" and the only child for his whole life, meeting his baby sister was bittersweet. For some children, the addition of a new baby can be an exciting experience, while for others it can leave them feeling somewhat as though they have been replaced. In these instances, jealousy and aggressive toddler behavior may become an issue between the siblings.

One problem in particular that I had with my own son was that he would often become jealous when he noticed that his sister was receiving attention. For instance, when she first began to crawl and my son took notice to the amount of attention that she got, he took it upon himself to give up on walking and resort to crawling. Of course, he wanted to be praised for crawling as well. For parents who encounter a similar situation, the best approach is to find ways to praise him or her for being a "big kid." Allow the child to help out with big kid activities like helping with laundry or making dinner. As the child begins to understand that there are things that he or she can do that baby brother or sister is not yet big enough to do, imitating baby's every move will no longer seem as appealing.

For toddlers of the opposite sex, gender can sometimes lead to jealousy and rivalry. A girl may become jealous of her brother when he gets to go fishing with Dad just as boys may become envious as well when their sister goes shopping with Mom. A simple way to tackle this type of rivalry is to establish separate times with each child for his or her favorite activities, however, be sure that you are also dedicating time to activities and quality time with both children at the same time. This way, each child will have opportunities to spend time alone with each parent while still having time together as a family. Board games, mini golf, arts and crafts and story time are all great activities for time together and will encourage the children to have fun by playing nicely together.

Although it is important to intervene when rivalry arises, it is also important to encourage toddlers and praise them when they are playing nicely together. Many times parents will find that children opt for behaviors that gain them the most attention and when sibling rivalry gains said attention, this can quickly become a problem. It is simple to battle this, however, when toddlers are rewarded for their good behavior and begin to notice that they like the difference of treatment when playing nicely as opposed to the consequences of fighting.

As stressful as it can be when parents notice that their toddlers are fighting and becoming increasingly jealous, it is possible to combat these emotions by dedicating time to each child and getting to know their individual personalities. With a little time and modification to the approach, sibling rivalry in toddlers can be overcome.