Coping with Your Teenagers

If you have teenagers in your home, you will surely have many headaches and conflicts. Raising teenagers is a difficult job because teenagers are rebellious, lack wisdom and don't like their parents nosing in their business. Your teenager can drive you insane. You feel the need to guide them but they don't have the patience for your advice.

Teenage years are difficult years because they are at risk for many bad influences such as drug use, teenage pregnancy, and violence. If you want a good standing with your teenagers then you should start when they are younger and you won't need to train them as much as they get older.

Similar to other training in life, you have to start early and not jump in out of nowhere and expect your child to obey you perfectly. You train an Olympic champion when she or he is 5 years old not when they are 25 years old. This is the same principle with any training such as training your teenager to live the life that is beneficial for them.

It is not easy to get your teenagers to obey you. You have to be skillful in talking to them. You have to know when and how to talk to them. The first step is to be a good role model yourself because your child won't listen to someone that they don't respect. If you do drugs and cheat on your spouse, you can't expect your child to trust anything you will say to them. Many teenagers have emotional problems because of their dysfunctional parents who abuse and neglect them.

The steps to talk to your child effectively are to respect your child's need for privacy, friendship, and hobbies. These three things are important to their development, self-esteem and quality of life. You have your friends, your privacy, and hobbies so why would you deny your child of these things. I have observed that many parents deny their child of friendship, hobbies and privacy. This is unjust for them. How would you feel if they tell you that you can't go dancing Saturday night, play golf and drink beers with your buddy. You would think your child is insane.

The last step is to be respectful to your child when trying to communicate with them. If you criticize, yells, and demean them, it will lead to nowhere and they will withdraw. Just listen to your child with an open mind and an open heart. Remember that children with open minded parents are better off then parents who restrict too much.