Coping When You Have Trouble Determing Directions

Some people have no problem knowing where they are going, especially once they have been there once. They are oriented; they know which direction is north, south, east, or west at any given time, even if the sun isn't out. They also seem to have an instinct to hone in on where they need to be; and they get there. I, however, do not have any of these talents. Going to somewhere I have been before is, at best, iffy, and going to a new place is a real challenge. Even if I have been there several times, it doesn't mean I will remember how to get there again; especially if the landmarks change. Road construction especially is a nightmare; all those barrels! They just look like one orange, confusing mess to me.

The problem for me compounds when I think I can get there "on my own." I take off, all confident that I will make the right turns, follow the right roads, then inevitably, I make one wrong turn, then another; by now I am disoriented too; ("Help, someone moved the sun!") and I then realize that once again, I am "lost." Finally I have come to realize and accept that I am "directionally challenged." What exactly does this mean? It means I have to use special coping mechanisms to make sure I arrive where I need to be, and on time. Planes, meetings and other people won't find me or wait for me to find them. I have to do it myself.

O.K., I think, I have this "problem" and surely there are other people out there who also have it. Sure, I could get a Global Positioning System (GPS), to help, but you have to know how to operate them while driving 70 miles per hour down to road. Since I am also mechanically challenged, this may or may not work for me. However, I have developed some other (and much cheaper) ways to help me. Here's what I do:

1. GET GOOD DIRECTIONS: I "google" MapQuest or Yahoo Maps to chart my route. Once I have my route "charted," I zoom in and out, and print out what I need. Then I study it. Of course, a state map is always good, which is why I have several different ones in my glove compartment. I also ask people who know how to get there, but back it up with maps or internet directions.

2. HAND WRITTEN DIRECTIONS: Sometimes, even if I have studied maps, I forget once I am on the road. Since it is hard, not to mention dangerous, to read maps while driving, and time consuming to pull over, I sometimes make a list in big letters of the roads I need to take, noting where they turn into other roads, what towns I will go through or streets I will see. Then I tape it to my car dash board. As I am driving, if I see a road sign for a town that isn't on my list, I will know I took a wrong turn before I have gone too far out of my way.

3. EXTRA TIME: This is key if I have to be at a certain place at a certain time, especially for a work meeting, I actually plan extra time into my schedule to get lost. I start early; then if I am early arriving, I have time to get a cup of coffee, help set up a room for a meeting, etc. This also makes me seem especially efficient and organized to others.

4. RADIO OFF: I usually enjoy listening to the radio when I am driving. However, when I get to a place where I may get confused, I turn it down or off, because then it becomes a distraction. I have sailed past an exit more than once while my head is lost in beautiful music, so now I know to turn it off.

5. DON'T GET STRESSED: Stress always makes this problem worse. If I start to get upset, I do everything I can to reduce or eliminate it; deep breathing, accepting that I will be late, realizing this is actually a little thing in the entire scheme of things, no matter how important it seems at the moment.

6. ASK FOR DIRECTIONS: The people who live and/or work where you are at the moment are usually (though not always) able to give you good directions. If you are lost, stop and ask someone.

7. TAKE SOMEONE ELSE: Sometimes I can take someone else who knows the way, and let them "direct" me.

8. TRAVEL ANOTHER WAY: Last spring, my daughter and I were invited into Chicago for a weekend. Neither one of us wanted to drive; so we got a low-priced airplane ticket and flew. A family member provided transportation once we landed. I didn't have to drive at all!

9. DON'T GO: Sometimes, I simply don't go. If it is not worth the stress and effort to negotiate a new area, find a meeting place, figure out where to park, especially if parking is limited and/or complicated, and get there on time, I don't do it.

10. DON'T ASSUME YOU KNOW THE WAY: I have done this many times; taken off for somewhere that I have been before, thinking I know the way, and before I know it, I have taken a wrong turn and I am lost again. Use your coping mechanisms every time. For those of us with this problem, getting there successfully one time doesn't mean we will the next!

Other thoughts: for years, I fought the idea of getting bifocals; however, I really needed them! While I was driving, I could not see street signs very far ahead; maybe half a block at most. Since I got my bifocals, I can now see much further ahead, and it is much easier to get in the right lane in time to turn. Also, a compass in the car is a very good idea for those of us who can not tell what direction we are going. The sun is not always there to guide us!

Now I can laugh about making wrong turns and even getting lost. In fact, I actually consider it an adventure of sorts. Being lost has meant driving down some scenic roads, going through pretty little towns and even meeting a few nice people along the way. I know that if it is important for me to be somewhere at a given time, I can use my "coping mechanisms." Otherwise, I carry my cell phone in case I need to tell someone that I will be late because I "got lost," and I just enjoy the ride!