Correcting Child Behavioral Issues

If time outs are no longer working as a disciplinary method for your child, it may be time to switch to the traffic control method.

The traffic control method is a simple and easy to understand system that works best for ages 4 to 7. Children at this age may be too old for time outs, but too young for the more emotional tactics where they are asked to "think about what you've done".

To prepare, create a simple weekly checklist similar to a weekly calendar page.

Each day of the week should contain an image of a traffic light, or simply use 3 circles in traffic light colors. (Red, yellow, green)

Place a check box or line next to each color of the traffic light (or next to each circle).

Next, on a separate sheet, list the rules you want your child to follow. They should be simply worded and easy for your child to understand.

Keep the rules age appropriate and start by listing no more than 5 rules, so choose them based on the behaviors you feel are most important to correct. You can always add more or change the rule list when the good behavior has become a habit.

The traffic control method is fairly simple:

When all the rules are followed each day, the child receives a green light.

They are allowed one warning (yellow light), which will not count against them if they correct the negative behavior immediately.

If the negative behavior continues, they receive a red light for the day.

Use the check box or line to mark the child's progress each day.

Consider how you will reward your child for good behavior and what the consequences will be for negative behavior.

Once your lists are done and reward system is in place, sit down with your child in a room where there will be no distractions. Explain your new rule and reward system to the child. If they can read, it is helpful to have them read the rules out loud to you. It may also be helpful to review the rules every day for the first week and then once weekly for the following weeks.

Explain the rewards for good behavior and the consequences for negative behavior. State it in this manner: "If you receive all green lights for the week, you will be rewarded with...." "If you receive a red light on any day, there will be no tv for the rest of the day..." (Or whatever action you have chosen)

Children will understand this concept, especially when you begin adding "red light" "green light" to your daily vocabulary. They will not want to receive a red light and in most cases will try their hardest to stay "green" all day.

Choose a day to start your plan and honor your words. If you do not follow through with your rewards and consequences, your child will soon learn that you are not serious and neither will they be. Have patience when first starting the plan and be somewhat relaxed on handing out warnings, or "yellow lights" until your child gets used to the new routine.

This plan has worked extremely well for my 6 year old when nothing else worked. We've established better routines at home as well as in public. We've made a practice of marking her traffic light chart just before bedtime and then we talk about how the day went.

She is eager to please because she wants to stay "green" and when she does occasionally get a "red light", she understands that tomorrow is a new day with a fresh new start.