Could I Be the Biggest Loser?

You know, I have always been fascinated with ghosts, as I'm sure you have read in my past articles, if you were so kind to have had read them. I often wonder what my fascination with them is. Whether it is wanting to know for sure if they are real, so I can confirm that anything could be real, including God and that I can have faith in something, or just wanting to know if there is something after death. Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I don't believe in God, it's that I don't know WHAT to believe. I am strange, as I have a hard time believing in things before I see them. And yet, I want to believe in the weird things, like ghosts and Bigfoot. Normally people believe in God first. I guess I am backwards like that.

I have often wondered if there are ghosts all around me and I just don't notice it. Dead people calling out to me for help. Ghosts that still want to be among the living. Well, I came to a realization the other day. As I was looking in the mirror, I realized something. I AM a ghost. A ghost of someone that doesn't want to be dead yet. I have always been a ghost. As a little girl, I lived in a dead body. As a teenager, I lived in a dead body. As an adult, there was a brief period where I came out of my cocoon and transformed into a butterfly. A social butterfly that met a gorgeous husband. After a short time, that butterfly crippled back into her cocoon and became dead again. What do I mean by dead again? I mean I became obese, once again. As a little girl, I was fat. As a teenager, I was fat. As an adult, I lost a lot of weight over seven months time, only to get it back again once I got pregnant after meeting my husband. Since then I have put back on all the weight plus a little.

It has been two and a half years since my son was born and I am still well overweight. Like the majority of overweight people, I am an emotional eater. Which means I am one of those people that sits in front of the TV eating a slice of pizza and cheering on the contestants on The Biggest Loser, wishing I was on there, losing the weight myself. And yet, I am eating the pizza. I find the show extremely inspiring, however. This time around, this season has really encouraged me to think about myself. I love my husband, and I love my little boy. But I am not loving myself enough. I'm realizing that in order to get that butterfly back that met my husband, I need to stop being the ghost. I am not dead, and I don't want to feel like I am. I had not realized that I was in a bit of a depression. I thought I was just lazy. There are days when I don't even feel like leaving the house, or doing anything other than taking a shower. This is not a healthy thing. I need to take time out for myself and just take that walk, sit quietly somewhere and count my calories, if that is what I decide to do. Put on makeup and buy myself some nice perfume. My friend Julia and I have always discussed how we feel that waiting until you feel completely comfortable with yourself to treat yourself to haircuts and makeup and other beauty products is not the way to go. You need to feel like you are like any other person, a person who deserves to be pampered, before you can change. You have to know you are worth it.

The Biggest Loser is a show that I watch and I cry with, because I know what these people are going through. A lot weigh more than me, and a lot weigh less than me but no matter how much they weigh, they have felt like the fat person. They have gone through that depression of wanting to change, but never being able to stick with it when you put the wants and thoughts into place when it comes to starting something.

There are tons of people watching this show, who are saying "oh, well if I had a personal trainer at MY beck and call I would be losing a ton of weight to." Is that true though? How many times have we all started an eating plan or workout program where we do it the first few days and that give up? I bet there are tons of people who signed up with a personal trainer and never showed up. Or after the first session, bailed and never went again. These people may have Bob and Kim to push them around, but THEY are doing the work, and when they get home, they will still continue to do the work and it will be even harder. Let's give these people a hearty hand, instead of saying how easy it would be for us if we were there if we had what they had, because we all know that is NOT true. Losing weight is NEVER easy. There is no magic bullet and you have to put the effort in or you will fail. This show has real people with real issues. It isn't The Real World. or American Idol. It is a show about people with health issues who are giving themselves a better quality of life. There is, yes, a big prize at steak but win or lose the big prize, they leave with a new body, newly found self-confidence and their health back. There is a concern that they are losing weight to fast. Well, the reason they are losing so fast, is because 1.) A lot of them are very overweight, and people that are larger tend to lose more weight and at a faster pace. 2.) It is for the purpose of television. They are supervised by doctors and specialists who recommend that in normal circumstances, two pounds a week is best,

When The Biggest Loser started this year, I was a little sad when I found out that all 50 people from every state in the USA were not going to stay. The looks of disappointment and the tears on their faces were enough to send me into instant tear up mode. I was glad to hear they could still participate. I was very glad when the man from my home state of Maine had a chance to come back to be weighed on TV and possibly stay on the ranch. Unfortunately, though he had lost 100lbs (and approximately 115 at the moment) his percentage wasn't enough to keep him there. I believe they are bringing all 50 contestants back for the finale though. At least I hope so. They deserve some recognition for all of their efforts. I have been checking on them all on the NBC Biggest Loser website.

Another change this year was Kim Lyons replacing Jillian. Kim is great, but I still miss Jillian. I think Kim will pull it off though. She seems to be a very caring person. This year, at first I didn't care for any of the red team, including Kai. At this point she has grown on me. Now I am rooting for Kai or Erik to win. Each and every contestant on this show inspires me, and I hope that one day soon I will be my own "Biggest Loser".