Could You Date Someone Your Friends Hate?

The constant battle that has gone on for the longest time is whether someone can actually date someone that their friends hate. It's actually a question of morals and ethics in some ways because you have to sit back and really think about what you're doing. It's a complicated subject that could put you in one of the most awkward situations imaginable that will require you to analyze every single aspect of it before making your decision. Trust me folks, it's not easy either.

I've known a lot of people in my life and had a great number of friends over the years no matter where my life took me at the time. They were always the people that were there for me through thick and thin, good and bad, happy and sad. If there was a shoulder I needed to cry upon, they were there. Perhaps my car broke down and there I stood stranded out on the side of the highway, they would arrive with gas or a toolbox. Instead of doing nothing and staying in for the evening, they would call me and provide me with the nights of my life.

Then she came into my life. Automatically we clicked and found out that we had so much in common. We made each other laugh and couldn't stop smiling or talking. There was a physical attraction and I knew that she had to be blind or something to be attracted to me. Come to find out we liked the same type of movies and even both enjoyed rock music. It seemed like a match made in heaven and that in some ways we were the male and female equivalents of one another. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, the answer to that is plenty. You have your great friends that you've known for years and couldn't be happier with no matter what the situation. Now you have this great girl in your life that seems to fill in all the missing holes and gaps that kept you from being complete. After your friends and your new girlfriend meet each other, everyone meshes and gets along so well that your life is totally perfect. That is until the next day when you go hang out with your friends and learn that they were being polite because they really can't stand her at all.

Say what? Now what do I do?

It's a big choice to make and one that needs to honestly be thought about with a great deal of carefulness before making a decision. People always say things like, "if they're really your friends then they'll support you no matter what you do." That sounds peachy and all that, but it's also kind of stupid. If I'm making one of the biggest mistakes of my life, whether in a relationship or not, then my friends are the people I'd expect to come right out and tell me. They are the ones that have had my back and that I've trusted for so long and need to listen to, but there's a bit of a catch here. That catch happens to be your heart and therein lies the problem. You just can't fight your heart sometimes and need to let it make its own choices and its own mistakes.

It has been brought to my attention a few times in my life that the girl I was dating wasn't really the right one for me. My friends let it be known that they thought I "could do better" or that "they weren't sure how we ever ended up together." Mind you these things were told to me after my relationships had ended and my friends told me that they never said anything because they thought I was happy. That is mighty respectable of them, but it leaves me wondering just how much it bothered them to be around my now ex.'s whenever we'd go out or go to dinner or even just hang out at home together. Were they constantly annoyed or bothered or irritated or just counting down the seconds until she was gone? Kind of stressful if you ask me.

My heart is very big and open at times, but it knows what it knows and sometimes those choices are just wrong. That is the type of thing that everyone needs to find out for themselves, but the help of their friends doesn't hurt a bit either. Their opinions are important to me and need to be taken into consideration because if I'm dating someone they hate, then eventually our friendship will be strained. Yet if I'm dating someone they hate but I really like her, my new relationship will end up strained. When it all boils down to it, I don't think there is any way that I could date someone my friends hate because the stress and aggravation would simply be too great and more trouble then it's worth. Believe me that this will probably be the case for all of you, but it's not an easy decision to make: friends or relationship?

That's why you need to ask yourself a few questions before making any quick decisions:

~ How do you really feel about the girl/boy you're dating? Sure it may be brand new and all that, but are your feelings true or is it just puppy love?

~ Do you trust your friends' judgment or are they simply being overly protective and not wanting someone new to take your time away from them?

~ Your friends aren't going to go anywhere, but your friendships won't be the same ever again if they honestly hate who you're dating. Can you handle that type of stress?

~ Are you willing to give up the possible love of your life just to make life a little easier?

Choices get easier to make and the questions are simpler to answer the older you get because you're not going to want to keep waiting to find that "someone." So when they finally come along, it's going to be very hard to let them go even if your friends can't stand him or her. In my experience though, I've come to learn that whomever I end up for life with is going to be more then good enough for my friends. How do I know this? It's easy. The person that will be the love of my life will have many of the same qualities that my friends see in me and made them want to get to know me better and eventually end up befriending me. So says the same thing for the girl that enters my life and change it forever, but in nothing but good ways.