Could Entertaining Help to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

Almost anyone can get a divorce these days … and why not? You can have a "no fault" divorce, where people aren't to blame. Yeah, no fault - it's just two adults not wanting to take responsibility. It's just two adults who didn't mind shoveling the time, energy and money on the courtship and the ring, but they didn't want to admit to their own contributions to the failure of the marriage.

Don't get me wrong. I know there are some serious issues that lead to divorce. Just this year, we have had family members who have suffered from verbal abuse at the hands of a spouse. While I'm not going to debate whether their marital breakups are right or wrong, I will not condone sticking around just to entertain a pile of abuse.

I'm not here to debate the morals or even validity of divorce, but merely to explore one minute a topic that maybe an "aha!" for some. My wife and I have only been married for 4½ years, while many of you have been dancing for 10, 20, 30, 40 or even more years. Please enjoy reading this article, but please look to those around you that are content and succeeding in their marriages even after seeing the same face for decades upon decades for advice on how to entertain methods to divorce proof your marraige.

Do you ever say to yourself or your spouse, "I wonder how XYZ is doing?" Your spouse will reply, "I don't know - I wonder, too." You say, "We should call them sometime." When did you last entertain sometime yet?

Many people don't bring sometime to the dinner table. Well, my wife entertains sometime about once a year if not once a quarter. One of the many things I love about her is that she is good about making sure sometime gets entertained. Family is extremely important to her, and that is a good lesson for our daughter.

It may take a few times to entertain the "I wonder" conversation, but just as the season changes, one of us will pick up the phone and invite XYZ to dinner.

Our latest sometime happened just the other night. We were able to entertain my uncle and two aunts. It was their first visit to our home, where we've lived for two years. My wife has been missing them. We hadn't seen the one aunt since her husband's funeral.

Of course, since the relatives are on my mom's side, we also entertained my parents. One thing we discussed was the oddity of the upcoming divorce on that side of my family. My wife and mother had a conversation about how we thought we had "known" the outgoing spouse who had married into the family. It was the same conversation I had with my wife a few months earlier regarding the divorce on her side of the family. That's when my wife had her "aha!" moment.

She realized that we never really saw the non relational spouse. Both relatives live within 20 minutes or less from us, yet we never saw them. The only time we would see the other spouse was once a year for very large family gathering. My wife tried several times to entertain them and it was not easy, something would always creep up.

When you don't take the time to entertain family and friends into your home, they can't get to know the "real you." They can't see your home as it is. It is a lot easier to let your guard down when your'e in your own home. It becomes easy to hide who you really are, and it enables the avoidance of the responsibility to treat your spouse with the utmost love and respect. It's safe to not let relatives and friends into your home.

Back in "the day" families spent more time together. Perhaps that is the key ingredient to divorce proof and protect that marraige. You get to know the aunts and uncles and grandmas and cousins a lot deeper when you entertain their company in your home. You get to know your spouse in a light that you wouldn't even imagine and vice versa. Sometimes you just have to let sometime happen. Make sometime happen. I know the holidays are coming up and what a perfect door to open up. When your'e talking to your aunt or uncle bring your calendar and see when you can entertain them at your safe haven.

After our sometime ended, my wife and I were elated at what a nice time we had. We thought that being with folks who have been married for over 30 years can only be a good education for us. We've just started our road to bliss, and we need to take time out to let people into our lives particularly extended family. Also, it taught us to work as a team while cooking and getting the house ready. There is no substitute for the influence of veteran married couples - and we look forward to being one someday.

No one starts off marraige with the entertainment of a divorce "We do have to acknowledge, however, that marriages are fragile. They must be nurtured and protected if they are to survive for a lifetime. If ignored, they will wither and die. " Dr. Dobson on "Is it possible to protect yourself from divorce". So pull out your calendar and schedule your sometime today. Head on the road to divorce proof your marraige.