Could Loneliness Lead to a Bad Marriage?

When people are lonely often times they can also be desperate. A sense of desperation does not make for the best decisions when it comes to who they should marry. Let's take a look at why lonely people may not be making the best choices about who they're dating, and how this can lead to bad marriages.

When people are so lonely they become desperate one of the first mistakes they make is the type of people they choose. Loneliness can make even the worst man or woman look like Prince Charming or Princess Grace. What happens is, those high standards that these lonely people once had had go right out the window. They may or may not realize they are doing is. Denial can be a lonely person's best friend. They may choose people that are in direct opposition to everything they believe in. Before the desperation set in they they might have wanted to marry a Christan, now they are begrudgingly dating an atheist. They might have originally wanted to marry a man that is successful, now he doesn't even have a job. Yes, when people get lonely sometimes out of desperation they will literally choose, the first thing that comes along.

Most Seriously lonely people, are usually also afraid of being alone. Not all people who are alone, are necessarily lonely. They have learned to carve out a good life by themselves and are not dependent on someone always being there. Some lonely people are so afraid of being alone, again like in the previous scenario they choose the wrong people. As well, they may do things they normally wouldn't do, just to keep someone around. They will go to great lengths to keep someone around that before they were lonely, wouldn't have given the time of day to.

So, given the previous information it is easy to see how someone who is lonely, and maybe afraid of being alone as well, could end up marrying the wrong person. At first there's a lot of elation about getting married, and the lonely partner is only thinking about the promise of a lifetime of not being alone. However, after the ceremony and the loneliness is all but gone, they will start to see the other person in a whole different light. Unfortunately, they have already married them. Well, they could rationalize that everything will be all right and try to make the best of things in the marriage. But is that truly realistic? Here you are stuck in a marriage with someone you now clearly see, is not even close to being right for you. However, in their mind is also the realization if they leave this person, the loneliness will once again be there. So, in the end most of them end up staying.

Unfortunately what ends up happening is what we see too often, it ends up being a bad marriage. One who's in the marriage because they honestly love the person they married, and one that's in the marriage just because they couldn't stand being lonely anymore. This is so much more common than people know. They're usually the couples you see where one of them actually looks like they hate the other. It's one of those so called roommate marriages where two people are living together, but have no affection or intimacy. So then what ends up happening is kind of ironic in a sense, especially for the person who started out lonely. This person ends up being lonely once again because their is no real relationship with the person they married out of desperation. It;s really a catch 22, if they leave they will be lonely again, and if they stay in a bad marriage with someone they don't even love, can actually end up being even more lonely.

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So, the moral of this article is, it's better to fix what is wrong in the first place, then to try to fix something that ends up wrong. In other words, it's better to learn how to live with yourself without being lonely, then end up lonely with someone else, and not knowing how to fix it.