Cow Farts Cause Global Warming

I could not believe my eyes when I read the following quote on Foxnews:

"And some time ago we told you that lawmakers in Europe were concerned that natural emissions from livestock are more harmful to the planet than pollutants from planes, trains, and automobiles. Now the London Sun reports an official European Union declaration is demanding changes to the diets of cows and sheep - and ways to capture their gas emissions and recycle manure. The document warns "the livestock sector presents the greatest threat to the planet." The U.N. says livestock farming produces 18 percent of all greenhouse gasses - while all forms of transportation generate 14 percent."

I decided to conduct an experiment of my own to see if this U.N. report was true or not. I mean, really, how did they determine that cow and horse farts had anything to do with polluting any environment anywhere on the planet? How did they measure this sort of thing? Were the scientists standing at the rear ends of a bunch of cows with a smell-o-meter? Just how did they do it?

I sat in all the plazas in Guanajuato watching the cars, cabs, trucks, and buses congesting the streets. Now, not all the plazas allow automobile traffic to flow by them, but most do. This makes it easy when one wants to sit and count all the automobiles driving by compared with the herds of livestock that I waited for days to see but, alas, they never showed.

Day after day I watched cars, and lots of them, with only one Mexican, the driver, driving by my roost. Never once did I spot what would have remotely hinted that car-pooling was in motion here. I suppose the good people of Guanajuato read the U.N. report and concluded that a city where there are too many automobiles tooling down ancient streets in an ancient city not designed to accommodate car traffic was ok. After all, it's all those cow and burro farts that are making it impossible to breathe in this town and not the automobiles.

So, there I sat watching. What I did see, that cast all sorts of doubts that air pollution in Guanajuato, and hey, the world, was all the fault of livestock, was huge, billowing black clouds of poison belching out of the backs of cars, cabs, trucks, and buses. It would appear, at least in Guanajuato, that checking one's oil and changing it every 3000 miles is not high on the hit parade of things to do with your auto. However, driving it through the streets of this city seems to be very popular as are the blue filter masks children have to wear to cope with the fact their lungs no longer have clean air to breathe in this town.

If it's bad here can you begin to imagine in Mexico City where, I swear I was told this, on the bad days, birds will drop dead in mid-flight and fall out of the air at your feet.

There's a recent effort to get rid of some of the Guanajuato's pigeons. They are doing all sorts of safe and environmentally sound things to rid the city of some of these birds. Heck, all they have to do is wait another month or two and with the proliferation of a few thousand more cars, the increased pollution will take care of the birds.

I continued plaza sitting and never once did I see an animal of any sort fart some huge black cloud of lung melting (and apparently stone melting too-the auto exhaust is deteriorating the stone in the tunnels of Guanajuato-the same stuff we are breathing in.) exhaust from its rectal exhaust pipe. Never!

There are even occasions when an actual live herd of burros come lumbering by and still no farting black clouds.

The other day we were in one of the most expensive barrio in Guanajuato when a small herd of cows passed by on the street. Nope! Not a black cloud of fartiness came smelling forth.

Admittedly, this is not a very scientific survey of animal's emissions. However, tell me just what are all those clouds of black death doing when they come stinking out of the backs of the autos in this town? These, according to the study, are not the source of pollution. Then, pray tell, what are they and are they good for us?

You can see more and more people here having to wear masks to breathe.

I've thought of investing in one or two myself.