COWBOYS: The Fantasy & the Reality

Although I was born in New York, I have lived most of the last thirty-five years here in Arizona. So what does that all mean? Well, I have gotten to know quite a few cowboys. Now, I'm not talking about the Urban Cowboys who put on a cowboy hat on Saturday night and go out to impress the ladies with their John Travolta imitation, I'm talking bow-legged, bull riding, horse riding, tobacco chewing cowboys. Let me share my experience, and other women I have known, with the cowboy reality. Please know I realize somewhere out there, there are very intelligent, wonderful cowboys, unfortunately I have not had the pleasure of meeting any.

Let's start with the fantasy. I grew up with those darn Marlboro commercials, with the gorgeous cowboy riding his horse, on the wide-open prairie. Yes, many a woman from growing up in the 60's was mesmerized by that cowboy. Sadly, I believe he died of lung cancer. Talk about reality. Anyway back to the fantasy. The Marlboro cowboy was better than a knight in shining armor. I still think about him now and again. If he wasn't enough there was John Wayne. Who doesn't like John Wayne" I think most men even have a thing for him. Yes, the cowboy fantasy, of a quiet, rough man, who takes a woman in his arms and makes them fall faint as his kisses. Yes, fantasies are wonderful things, however, fantasies are not real, as I came to heart breakingly find out.

Now to the horrible reality. My experiences with cowboys started way back in the early seventies when I went to college in a small Wyoming town. I was there studying Wildlife Management and Conservation. Anyway, several of the girls I knew were dating died in the wool, cowboys. Some were even in rodeos. I got to meet most of them. The thing I remember most is they all had a lot of teeth missing, and I could hardly understand what they were saying. I don't ever remember having an intelligent conversation with one of them, and from the complaints of their girlfriends, neither did they. This still didn't shake the fantasy of my Marlboro Man.

A few years later I joined the Air Force and was stationed at Davis Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, Arizona. Except for a few years in Phoenix, and Florida, I have lived here in Tucson. So, what does an All American girl do in Tucson? She goes out Country Western dancing of course. Yes, up until a couple of years ago when I developed a bad leg, I went out dancing about 2-4 times a week. Well, guess here all the cowboys hang out? You got it, Country Western bars, to listen to Country Western Music. Trust me, they rarely listen to anything else.

Okay, so the reality of the cowboy I have come to know and dislike. Most of them see to do pretty well in the drinking department. I rarely saw them drink under eight to ten beers in a night. Most of them drank more. I found most of them to be very racist. You may want to check out my article, Dating A Racist: I Thought He Was Just A Nice Bull Riding Cowboy From Texas. You'll understand what I mean after reading that one. I never had an intelligent conversation with one of them; they seem to have been limited to just a few subjects, such as horses, trucks, beer, and having a good time (if you know what I mean). Most of them although professing being a faithful type person in relationships, didn't have the past to back that up. One thing that drove me crazy was their position on protected sex. One cowboy, when group of us was discussing unprotected sex thought I meant a condominium when I mentioned the word condoms. I'm sorry but that's pretty bad. Most cowboys will not use protection. This is a complaint I have heard from several women.

Last but not least, every cowboy I met was a male chauvinist. In their mind there is no such thing as a man and woman being equal. He is the man of the house and she's the little woman, HE makes all the decisions, and she must not only go along, she has to like it too. Yes, when John Wayne said Little Lady in his movies, he darn well meant it. Traditional roles are a must with the cowboys I met. I also found most of them to be quite aggressive, at least when they drank. I could go on and on but I think you have the picture by now.

Again, some things are better left as fantasies, and should not be carried over into a shocking, and horrible reality. I guess if you're just looking for a good time, or a one-night stand, there's no problem, except of course getting them to use protection!

**Disclaimer: This article in NO way describes all cowboys that exist. This was from personal experience. As in every group, there are the good and the bad. So with that, I say good luck Ty Murray on Dancing With The Stars!