"Cows," a Short Short with Bovines!

Cows EVERYWHERE, as far as the eye could see.

What a place to break down.

I suppose there's a chance one of them knows how to fix a car, right?

"Hey Bessie!" I yelled to a nearby bovine. "You know anything about radiators?"

Blank stare from Bessie.

"You're not going to get very far with that attitude, you know," I chided her. She returned to munching grass.

I took another minute to survey my surroundings, hoping that by some chance I had missed a nearby farmhouse on the otherwise empty horizon the first time I looked.

Nope, still nothing.

I reached into my pocket for my cell phone, somehow already knowing there would be no service out here in the middle of miles of pasture, and finding I was absolutely correct.

Maybe I can ride one of them back to civilization? Well, if not, one thing's for sure: all the steaks I can eat. That is, if I had my pocket knife.

I hate my life.

I am so glad I decided to take that shortcut! One long straight line cutting across a curve in the interstate, saving me two hours at least! Why not? See the countryside! Meet interesting people!

"Moo," said Bessie.

"You said it," I agreed.