Creating a Birth Plan for Single Mothers

I want to begin by telling you what a strong and incredible woman you are! You are carrying the life of a beautiful human being in your belly and are blessed beyond belief. I remember the joys and struggles a single and pregnant mother goes through during labor. The biggest thing you need during labor? Support and love! I hope these tips inspire you to create the birth experience you envision and are able to concentrate on birthing life into this world.

Get a doula! I can't express how useful a doula is for any laboring mother, but especially for single mothers. The word doula is a Greek word that translates to "woman servant." A doula is designed to be your personal advocate, comforter, and caregiver during labor. Each doula must complete a series of trainings before being certified. In these trainings, she learns a lot about birth-giving and can be an incredible resource in helping you understand what is going on. She usually uses techniques such as massage, hot packs, water-birth, relaxing music, but most of all, listening to your needs. She is also a great advocate in relaying your wishes as far as a birthplan goes.

Birthplans can be quite useful in contemplating how you would like certain procedures to be played out in the birthing room. The most common question relates to whether or not you'd like to use drugs, and which kinds you may be open to. Labor is intense so it helps to sort these kind of ideas out right away before you are faced with such decisions while contracting. Other questions a birthplan can help you decide are things such as whether or not you will breastfeed, how you would like the setting of the room, such as dim lights and relaxing music, and any other special requests you'd like to express. Many single mothers might put down something to the effect of "Do not ask me questions about the father" on their birthplan so the woman is not bombarded with such questions at such an intense time. http://www.birthplan.com/ is an excellent resource in providing you a pre-made birthplan you can fill out and print online. Make a copy for the doula, doctor, and a loved one, if they will be attending the birth.

Do you have a loved one that would be willing to be in the labor room with you? Common birth partners are moms or best friends. These women in your life are often very willing to share in such an exciting experience with you in life. Family and friend support can be incredibly useful during labor. Don't feel bad if someone like this does not currently exist in your life. Doula's do an excellent job of this as well.

Birthing classes. Times have changed since the days of Lamaze. Lamaze is no longer the central part of birthing classes. Now such classes include information on the birthing process and after birth, useful positions during labor, connection with other moms, and good 'ol Lamaze. Keep in mind the majority of these women bring along their husbands. Take along a good friend for emotional support. You deserve it!

After deciding who will be with you in the birthing room, who will support you along your pregnancy journey and birthing journey, its time to concentrate more on how you'd like the birth to go. The number one question you'll want to ask yourself before labor is do you want drugs? You can even be specific enough to request that meds are not even suggested as an option until you reach a certain # of centimeters. It's important to bring in your values surrounding medicine, what benefits they have and what you may perceive as consequences. Don't be afraid to state your opinion, either way you choose. It's your choice and only you can make it.

What if there are complications? Do you prefer a vaginal delivery vs. a cesarean if there is an option for it? State it. Remember, the doula will act on your behalf in making sure the doctors do not pressure you in doing something that is not absolutely necessary.

Will you be breastfeeding? After giving birth, you will be extremely exhausted with hardly any energy to move. A doula can be a great asset in assisting with the first couple of feedings. A birthplan can also clarify issues such as if your baby will be allowed formula while in the nursery. It can also give breastfeeding mothers an extra aid of support in their decision.

Some single mothers can also greatly benefit in choosing who can and cannot enter the birthing room. This means limiting the amount of medical professionals to what is absolutely necessary, as well as limiting the visitors to the room. It could be the case that single women prefer not to have an ex present in the room or an entourage of guests assisting her. Others may prefer loved ones present. It's your birthing experience and you should have the say so in how it goes down.

Be loving with yourself as you embark on the journey to motherhood. Being a mother is one of the most joyous things you will ever experience. And after giving birth, I guarantee you will feel like Superwoman!