Creating Open Lines of Communication with Your Child

A common complaint of parents, especially parents of teenagers, is, "He never talks to me about his life." Too often, parents feel their children growing distant, and are at a loss for ways to close the gap. Communicating with your child is a key element of good parenting, but it's often a difficult process to master. Here are some tips to open the lines of communication with your child.

Start early

Don't be afraid to talk to your young child about important issues. Even a very young child is old enough to understand a little about what is happening on the news, or why Aunt Peony is in the hospital, or why the goldfish died. The words may need to be simplified, but even complex concepts can be learned at an early age. Talking with your child about the big issues early on will teach him that these topics are not off-limits, and he will be more comfortable discussing things with you in the future.

Ask questions often

Asking questions enables you to engage your child in conversation. If you ask how his day was, follow up with more questions: what did he have for lunch? What did he learn in math class today? What did he do at recess? Asking open-ended questions rather than simple yes/no questions will help your child learn to think about his day, which will in turn serve to open the lines of communication. He will learn how to carry a conversation with you, and eventually he will be able to start a conversation without prompts from you.

Answer questions often

In the same token, children should be encouraged to ask questions. Answer any questions your child may have, and be as honest as possible. If you need to take some time to come up with an answer that you can be comfortable with, simply tell your child that you will discuss it later - and follow through with that. Don't just forget about the conversation.

Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know"

Children are curious, and sometimes they ask questions to which we may not know the answer. When that happens, don't simply give a flippant answer. Be honest with your child, and tell him that you don't know the answer. Assure him that you will try to find an answer for him, and follow through. Better yet, help him do some research and find the answer on his own.

Good communication is not something that will happen overnight. Your child will not wake up one morning and miraculously decide to open up to you. It is a constant process in which both parent and child must be active participants. The effort will pay off and result in a happier, stronger family.