Creativity, Family and Recovery: The Journey of Artme

By the time she was 36 years old, Associated Content Producer Artme thought she had completed the last leg of her life journey - and with minimal success. A talented artist and dancer who had to come to identify life onstage as her safe haven, she was thrust out of her comfort zone when she lost everything that she had come to hold dear - her career as a Las Vegas Showgirl, her husband, and her daughter.

"This was Hell, and I was going to kill myself..." she confessed, recalling the point at which alcohol and drugs could no longer numb the pain of the psychological wounds she had been living with for much of her life. She had it all planned - an evening of laughter and music with friends who had no idea that she was planning to take her own life, and a sentimental book with words of inspiration and photos of herself that she was going to leave behind for her daughter, Amy. But when her plan to swallow 120 pills with a bottle of vodka backfired after her arsenal mysteriously disappeared, she had a revelation: it was not yet her time to die.

After calling upon her mother and friend to come save her from her own self-destructive tendencies, Artme returned to Illinois and once again sought professional help. This time, it would stick.

It was through psychotherapy that Artme realized her outlook on life had to change in order for her wounds to truly heal. "The biggest thing I learned is that I was a volunteer and not a victim," Artme said. "Only when you are a child are you a victim. But you don't have to stay that way forever."

Artme also found it therapeutic to return to one of her passions - drawing. "The first thing I did was start drawing again," she said. "I love to draw animals on paper and give them to someone. I have gotten paid for some of my drawings over the years, but I don't need the money so it's just for fun."

Today, Artme has a new perspective on life. "I don't have any hate in me at all and I have forgiven myself and I know God loves me very much. I live a much simpler life - away from money and fame - and have real friends who are not afraid to tell me the truth about myself."

"I still see a therapist two times a month and attend a ladies' support group one day a week so that I don't go backwards," Artme admitted, proudly adding that she has been sober now for 14 ½ years.

In addition to her recovery, Artme is proud of the fact that her personal life has improved as well. "I am now married to a real healthy man named Randy, and Amy has lived with me for 6 years now," she happily shared. She describes her husband as a loving, brilliant man who is proud of her talents and supportive of her ambitions.

"Randy made a special program for me on my computer and I just love drawing on it. He's got a 175 IQ and is fun and sober and loves me a lot... He makes me want to be the best I can be. "

Married for 10 years, Artme is also an adoring stepmom to teenagers Kevin, 18, and Jessie, 16, who are Randy's children from a previous marriage. She has loved and raised them as her own since they were 8 and 6, respectively.

According to Artme, having her daughter Amy back has brought her tremendous joy. "We do most everything together," she said. "If you do not want Amy around, you do not get to be around me. We ride horses together and lately we have been going to work out together. "

Artme describes her life today as a breath of fresh air compared to the chaos and dysfunction that she had grown accustomed to in her younger years. "I live on a ranch and have horses and chickens and lots of dogs and cats," she said. "It's the little things that I love to do, like making pancakes every Saturday morning for my family and taking the dogs for a walk."

Artme also has her own eBay store, which her husband Randy helped her establish so that she could spend more time at home with the kids. When she is not working, drawing or spending quality time with her family, she gives back to the community by engaging in youth outreach activities.

"I do fund raisers all the time for young people who want a new way of life," Artme noted. "I would like to show them that there is life after drinking and drugs."

One of the messages that Artme tries to convey to the youth is that they must be selective when choosing their friends and associates. "One thing my mother always said to me was, 'Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.' If you want to be an 'A' student, you have to hang with 'A' students. If you want to be sober and clean, you have to be with people who are going toward the light. Think, think, think about the consequences of your actions."

Artme has chosen to follow her mother's advice as well, distancing herself from friends and family members who have persisted along the path of self-destruction. She has even chosen to steer clear of two of her siblings, who continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.

"My baby sister, who is 16 years younger than me, is a history teacher...and I am very proud of her. As for my brother, I have not seen him in years because of his alcoholism. And my sister Tammi I love very much, but I have to stay away from her because she is very sick in her alcoholism and I will not put myself in that position ever again. Unfortunately Ricky and Tammi are dying very slowly from alcoholism and drugs, and all I can do is pray for them."

Artme's goals for the future include writing and publishing her autobiography, continuing to do community outreach, and providing a shelter for aging and defenseless animals.

"I would like to have a place for Beagles to come after they get older and cannot hunt anymore. Many people around here just kill them if they can no longer hunt, or let them get eaten by coyotes."

But most of all, Artme looks forward to the rest of her life with her family - being a mother, grandmother and eventually a great-grandmother, and sharing life with husband Randy, whom she describes as "the man that did not make me change, but made me want to change for the better."