Creepy "Lizard Guts" and "Eyeballs" Halloween Recipe

There's something heart-warming about this family tradition; a Halloween dinner entree that makes small children run screaming from the table in horror while their older siblings say, "Ewwww, gross! Can I have more eyeballs if he doesn't come back?" Even better, if you make this recipe for the neighborhood's Halloween potluck dinner, they'll never ask you to cook anything for the group again.

No lizards will be damaged for this production: it's just pasta with meatballs in strange colors. The quantities are not specified - make as much or as little as you need. Blame, or credit, for this epicurean delight goes to my grandmother. She was a great cook, but her side of the family was more than a half bubble off plumb.

Lizard guts: Fake lizard guts are easy to make. Cook spinach pasta, preferably spaghetti or the larger round noodles for the ghastly green color. Dress with pesto sauce for green ichor or plain tomato sauce for blood to go with the "guts".

Eyeballs: The "eyeballs" take a bit more work, but they can be made a day before they are needed and warmed in the microwave.

Ground Turkey (or vegetarian substitute that is pale colored)
Breadcrumbs
Raw Egg
Your favorite meatball spices
Canned button mushrooms

Mix the ground meat, bread, eggs and spices. Make small balls of the meat mixture and partly embed the mushrooms into the ball to make the colored iris of the eye. Cook them until the meat mixture is done, but not browned. Microwaving works well because the meatballs stay pale.

Serving: Pile the lizard guts into the serving dish and garnish with the eyeballs. Accompany with Convicts Bones (ready-to-cook biscuits or dinner rolls stretched into bone shapes before baking) and "Graveyard Greens" (tossed green salad).