Cry it Out: A Father's Point of View

Dad Can't Help But Try To Comfort Baby? - We Fathers are protective. No one can doubt that. When your baby cries you just know they want you to come get them and comfort them. Baby has been put into their crib and has been crying for 5 minutes. You have finally had enough of hearing your poor baby cry. You just know he will remember that you didn't come. You say "I'm going to pick him up." Mommy says "but you just can't do that". It's so difficult to hear your poor progeny crying out for someone to hold them. The biggest question on Dad's mind is "Why?". Believe it or not there are reasons, and they are good ones.

Mommy Is So Mean!!

As a Daddy of two boys, I know how hard it is to just sit there and listen to your baby cry and not be able to go help him. One of the biggest reasons you just can't go get him is this: MORE CRYING. How is that possible? Well simply put, babies who are picked up as soon as they start crying learn that they can get you to pick them up by crying. When that point comes, it's the end of the road for quiet afternoon naps. Baby wants to be in a different room, he screams. Baby gets bored of the toy he has, he cries. All because you taught him that your Freudian trigger is his waterworks! You meant the best, but you created the worst. Lap colic is a common term for a condition in which a baby cries because they know you will pick them up if they cry. Congratulations, you created a colicky monster. Way to go Dad. Believe it or not, Mommy isn't so mean.

The Method

Babies learn almost immediately after they're born what your triggers are. They cry, and you feed them. Guess what the baby does when he gets hungry and wants a bottle? You got it! He cries! Now, just a whine for a bottle isn't such a bad thing. You make the bottle, or nurse him (whichever your baby's case is), and he stops crying. He's full afterwards so he doesn't cry when he is done. Being picked up and held is not something baby will get "full" of and want to stop. The method for "cry it out" is this: If baby cries when he is put in the crib, let him cry for about 20-30 minutes. The odds are that he will fall asleep long before that. If 20-30 minutes comes and goes, baby is not crying because he wants you to hold him at that point. He's crying because he is gassy or teething or has some other form of infantile discomfort. Now you know it's time for different measures. YES Dad, you can go pick him up. Protect him as you've been itching to do for the last half hour. Comfort him and hold him close, and let him give Mommy an evil eye as if to say "Ha, Daddy came to get me!"

You Will Make It Dad... It's All For The Best

If you're a Daddy like I am, you always want to make sure baby has as little pain or worry in life as possible. The good news in this case is also the bad news. Baby will not be a baby for long. It comes and goes like a feather in the wind. So while it's heart wrenching to hear baby cry out for you, what you're really doing is making that short time he is a baby more enjoyable for everyone. Because a colicky baby is not fun for anyone. Truly Dad, it's all for the best.