CSI: London

{Scene one opens to Jimmy and his mother leaving for school.}

Jimmy- (scared) Mommy?

Mary- Goodbye darling!

{Jimmy begins to walk some more and in a while he is completely alone, or so it seems}

Bloody- {making fake James Bond music sounds and sliding along the wall acting invisible, enters} Buba Bum Bum...

Jimmy- {Turns sharply as though some thing is behind him} Mommy?

Bloody- {Jumps out and shoots gun 3 times and kills Jimmy}

[Lights go out Jimmy falls to the floor uttering faint screams, Bloody runs away and becomes Lisa Frank]

Lisa- {Turns on a blinking light and pretends to be a police car}

[Lights come on once the blinking light is switched off and the audience finds Lisa Frank examining Jimmy's body.]

Lisa- I think he's dead.

Mary- {Enters confused} I heard a gun shot and I just had to come down and rubberneck. Oh, my...Jimmy! {Runs to Jimmy screaming}

Lisa- {Pushes Mary back} Mama if you touch this crime scene I will be forced to arrest you.

Mary- {Questionably} But it's my Jim and he's dead?

Jimmy- {Sits up smiling} No I'm not; I'm an actor pretending to be some dead guy there's quite a difference.

Lisa- {Startled takes out a gun for only the audience to see and shoots him once more}

Mary- {Collapses on knees next to Jim's body} my son, Jim! Oh, the pain! The sorrow! The agony!

Lisa- Mama you'll need to come down town with us. {In a caring tone, puts her hand on Mary's shoulder} I'm sure it's the way he'd of wanted to go.

Mary- {angrily brushes Lisa off} He didn't want to go at all!

Jimmy- {Sits up} I wanted to go to school!

Mary and Lisa- {in unison} Quiet on the set!!!

Jimmy- Fine be that way, I didn't want to be part of your dumb crime scene anyway! {Lies back down}

Mary- Let's go down town.

[Mary and Lisa walk across the stage to a chair that's set up. Mary sits in it.]

Lisa- {Accusingly} So tell me why did you kill your son? {Begins pacing around the chair} Did you think that you'd get his life insurance money? Or did you think you'd get a turn with his shiny remote control car he got last week?

Mary- {Baffled} What?

Lisa- Come now I don't bite...usually? {Yells loud} TELL ME! {Calm voice} Why would you ever do something like this?

Mary- I've never killed anyone!

Lisa- You do realize your name was written on a note by your son's body.

Mary- {objectively} But it wasn't me, cross my heart and hope to die {makes the symbols of crossing heart}

Lisa- {Stands up, Arnold Schwarzenager Voice} I'll be back. {Lisa walks to the crime scene where there is no longer a body but a cop.}

Officer Bob- Good evening.

Lisa- Hello

Officer Bob- A shame isn't it {Looks at the ground where Jim's body was laying}

Lisa- {sadly} A real shame.

Officer Bob- Did you get anywhere on the suspect?

Lisa- No, I think she's innocent. But, I'll probably arrest her anyway.

Officer Bob- Just think we'll probably never find the true murderer.

Lisa- Nope!

Officer Bob- Just think what if it was you that killed him.

Lisa- Uh, um Bob I did kill him. He stole my tuna fish coupon.

Officer Bob- You did? Well I might of too if it involved tuna. Wait... you did!

Lisa- Yea and I think almost the whole audience already knew that.

Officer Bob- Oh, in that case I'll have to arrest you. {Lisa attempts to run away running across the stage, she trips and falls. Bob then arrests her. Bob pulls out cuffs and roughly forces Lisa in to them.} You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to a lawyer and to have one present during interrogation. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights?

Lisa- Dude I'm a cop too remember!

Mary- {Runs up to Lisa} Did you catch the person who did it?

Officer Bob- Yes here she is.

Mary- {Slaps Lisa angrily} Traitor!

Officer Bob- {Breaks Lisa and Mary apart} Wow, be nice now!

Don't worry tuna thieves everywhere can now rest assured knowing that no one will try to steal it back, especially me. I'm allergic to fish!

All- [Walk off stage and out the door]

Officer Bob- {After a few seconds walks back in looking for tuna coupon after he finds it he pockets it happily and runs off stage hopping that no one saw him}