Cubical Wars
Tales from the Front Lines of the Office War Day 4
The subject doesn't matter to her. Whether it is complaining because the pizza the managers were kind enough to bring in for lunch the other day had pepperoni and she is a vegetarian, or every minuet detail of her weekend she has an opinion and she is going to share it. One time she even brought in a photo album, I shudder with the memory and tuck it back away in the dark place.
Crap, she is actually in my cube blocking any chance at escape. I throw a "boy I am really busy today" grenade at her, she expertly side steps that with a "Me too, man it has been so busy here lately, they really need to hire some people to lighten the load. I was talking to Cindy down in HR and she said they don't have any plans on hire anyone in the near future, in fact they might have a hiring freeze until next quarter." I gape in horror at the machine gun fire of her words trying not to envision my friend Cindy sitting dazed and wounded in her cube. I can't think about that now, I have to save myself.
My phone rings, I grab at the lifeline and pray that it will be enough, it is not, it never is. I take my call with The Talker breathing down my neck just lurking in the cube behind me. I try a bold move when the call is over; I turn and start working again praying she will just go away. No dice, her talking keeps in time with the cadence of my computer keys. The good thing is she is also the quiet talker. Half the time no actual words come out she just mouths them.
"So then I asked Cindy about (mouths word) layoffs but she hadn't heard anything." I cut her off by making another sacrifice. "They just hired Jim, I am sure they would have told him if it was only going to be a temp thing or if they had plans on expanding." Will she take the bait? Yes, she is off in search of Jim and I score another victory. I take pity on the newbie and call to give him a heads up. As he is scurrying away I hear Mr. Loud Talker has become the latest target. Poetic justice if you ask me. I survive to fight another day at the office.
Published by Rissa Watkins
Rissa is a freelance writer whose first love is fiction. Her contest winning short story has been published in the book "Elements of the Soul", and she is currently working on her first novel. She is availab... View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentIt is hard for them to take the hint isn't it.
You really outdid yourself with this one!
my office is full of 'the talker' its awful!
Sometimes people just can't take a hint.
all of these people have names in my office. my least favorite? mr. nosy-and-talks-a-lot-about-medical-problem.s
neat stuff
Ack... poor Jim again? Is he going to quit in part 5? Or maybe he'll become The Crazed One.
Thankfully, I don't work with too many talkers. What a relief!
This is just too funny. Work places are the same everywhere. I've had to avoid people like this.
I had a talker when I worked in an office; she was really friendly and good to talk to, but she didn't know when to stop and had a few close calls with the bosses for talking.