Cultural Stigmas Against Mail-Order Brides and Pen Pals

In Romance on The Global Stage, author Nicole Constable produces a collection of information that primarily pertains to international pen-pal relationships, or "mail-order bride" marriages. Due to the perceived artificiality and general mystery of seemingly acquiring a life partner (particularly an Asian female) through what is seen as simply ordering a wife, there is generally a stigma attached to pen-pal relationships. The main focus of this paper will be to examine the stereotypes associated with the parties involved in such relationships and correspondence, in relation to Constable's book and self-analysis.

The two parties involved in said relationships are for the most part American, middle-aged, Caucasian men and young Chinese and Filipina women. Some of the American ideas of mail order brides involve Asian depictions of characters known as the "Lady Dragon" and the "gold-digger." These characterizations of the female Asian population pertain to stereotypes of submissiveness to men and the lack of agency, or hyper-agency (which speaks to the idea that some Asian women have ulterior motives, and use cross-cultural marriage to American men as a means to enter Western territory). The root of the gold-digger mentality can be traced to the thought that Asian female pen-pals are not so much opposed to their relationships being associated in some way to their societal status in relation to their countries' politics (unlike the thought that American men don't like to mix business with pleasure). In reality, Constable depicted images of American-Asian couples who were both tied to strong conservative concepts of American Republican government and Communist government, and used those two seemingly combative viewpoints as a springboard for health debate among their relationships; this is a contradiction to the original thought of the Asian woman, based largely on the idea of the Orient.

American men that use the pen-pal services to date internationally are primarily shown as nerdy, perverted, and incapable of acquiring the companionship of American women. This is only one aspect of such American pen pals. The other blanket stereotype of American men in the aforementioned relationships conveys a dominating and superior overtone; that such men seek Asian women in the pen-pal system because of the perceived notion that such women are docile and self-obligated themselves to a servitude that would imply virtual inferiority to Western men.

The role of ideology plays a large part in international pen-pal relationships. In Chapter 4, Constable explains that "the 'fairy tale' of correspondence relationships reveals internal tensions surrounding gender, class, marriage, and global and national politics." Constable serves up the thought that Chinese and Filipina women living like paupers, only to hope and dream that a Prince Charming will them off their collective feet is valid to an extent, but that the omission of successful ("successful" meaning economically independent) Asian women who seek significant others from the States helps to cast a dark cloud of pen-pal interactions. Because the concept of power is visible in Constable's research of pen-pal relationships, it is evident that there are social structures that are allot power to both Caucasian American men and Asian women in incongruent amounts; but as stated in Chapter 6 of "Romance on the Global Stage", "the prospect of correspondence relationships between Asian men and western women reflects [greater] power imbalances of gender/nationality, race [ethnicity] and geography." This is based on the virtual lack of and/or negative acknowledgment of eastern men and American women (again based on stereotypical depictions based on American men and Asian women together). In Constable's research, it was generally stated that American men opined that American women are failed marriage partners and lack an agenda that pertains to family being the paramount objective. The Asian women in Constable's studies did not so much as say that Asian men were personal failures, as much as they expressed that their patriarchal government systems led them to explore alternative options in living; thus, leading to the pursuit of international relationships with western men.

All in all, the American, Chinese, and Filipino governments figure largely into the pen-pal exchange. Despite the successes, the governments cast an even darker shadow on international lovers. Policies that have sought to scout out true love relationships have assumed gold-digging on the part of Asian women; the Asian governments that deprived freedom and flexibility to women in social and economic facets of life in the East have also helped to exploit American men in their relationships with Asian women as a means of outside economic support. In closing, "Constable shows that power and agency are not solely concentrate in either the U.S. men's hands or the Asian women's hands.... [She] draws out the mundane aspect of these relationships to show that they are no different than other marriages except in the emphasis put on them by immigration policies and stereotypes." (Raili Roy)