Culture and Growing Up

Culture plays a major role in the physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological development of an individual. Culture is the backdrop that provides us with the possibilities and boundaries, the beliefs that give us power, the roles we create for ourselves, and the organization through which we find structure in our lives. It gives us the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and who we can be, a place from which we can start our journeys, and the constructs we can use to create meaning and significance.

The idea of our society as an integral part of development is cultural determinism, because it is our culture that determines who we are. I was raised in Midwestern America, in a middle class home, with predominantly European American parents (there is some Native American blood as well, but the European blood and culture dominated the household). My family valued education, responsibility, hard work, and love. These values, and the family and society that taught me these values, were the culture that affected my development.

I have always had a very strong work ethic, stronger than most of those around me. Whether it was striving for good grades in junior high school or working harder than others at my retail job, it was always important to me to work very hard. This work ethic comes from my European parents and my middle class status. If I hadn't come from Germans, but from Mexicans, I would have probably been taught to value family time over work time and taken a more relaxed attitude towards life in general. If I had come from an upper class family, I may not have felt like I had to work so hard to achieve success; it's possible I would have felt more entitlement to financial empowerment or simply had started off my professional life from a higher plane.
Because we find ourselves in many different cultures through our lives, the beliefs and roles we discover in each different world overlap and intertwine to make us into the complex individuals we become. I grew up in a predominantly German family, and that had a huge effect on me. However, I also grew up in a Christian high school, in a peer group of social misfits, as the youngest sibling in a blended family, and as a princess in the extended family of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Each of those cultures I grew up in had their own rules and expectations, and I had to learn how to maneuver through my roles in each individual group.

In my German family, I learned hard work and responsibility. In my Christian school, I learned wisdom and compassion. In my group of misfits, I learned how to be my own person even if it means going against societal norms. As the youngest in the family, I learned humility and cooperation. And as the princess, I learned that there was something very special about me that couldn't be found anywhere else in the family. These different cultures and the things they taught came together to teach me all the lessons I needed to become the best person I could.

Each of these cultures taught me something about what attitudes and behaviors were acceptable, what my limitations were, what my possibilities were, and who I was supposed to be and believe in on a daily basis. Without these societies, I would have been overwhelmed with information about who I could be, how I could behave, and what I could believe. Without the boundaries set up by the cultures I lived in, I would have been unable to function in any practical way. Just as a society's laws set up borders for actions, our cultures allow us to know what behavior is acceptable and what is not in order to guide us into the best possible future.

However, as crucial as culture is to determining one's personality, there comes a time in everyone's life when they are faced with a critical choice: is this a culture that I want to continue to believe in or not? Although the cultures I grew up in offered me many things, there are some that I no longer choose to be a part of. For example, although I was devoted to church service as a teenager, I have since grown to see too much politicking and grandstanding in organized religion to believe that it is a good choice for myself. Through my learning and reshaping my beliefs, I have changed the culture in which I live. I had the choice to stay and try to reshape the culture to better reflect what I believe is the true meaning of church (love and devotion to God), but I decided that it would be better for me to focus my energy anywhere.

In this way, we reshape the cultures we live in and discover new ones through the journey we take in our lives. I think the most important way we do this is when we choose to marry and start a family of our own. Each spouse brings with them a variety of experiences and roles from the cultures they grew up in, and the new family is faced with forging a new culture wherein they retain the pieces of the old cultures that work and discard the pieces that don't.

As children are added to that picture, it becomes even more important to make sure that the culture of the family is one that honors and elevates each member through the blending of the cultures. This blending process can be easy or difficult, depending on what those cultures have taught those individuals about what is tolerated and what is not. Some cultures are resistant to change; others are more fluid and accepting of change. Either way, it is a part of human development to cling to the cultures where we find a sense of belonging and find a way to reconcile it with the other cultures and roles we find ourselves involved in.

Culture is such an important part of our lives and experiences. Without our cultures, we would have no way to define significance in our lives, or even a way to know what is or is not significant. Culture is the construct through which we see our world, the way we define our search for life and love, and the way we share our experiences with others. Without it, we would be lost, but it is up to us to develop the cultures we believe in and wherein which we can find ultimate meaning.